I’m laying in bed waiting for the sun to come up in beautiful Palm Springs. My day holds the following:
1. Coffee in bed with my wonderful husband, who flew in to meet me yesterday.
2. Exercise, cause famous bitches can’t be chubby
3. Laying in the sun
4. None of your damn business ;-0
5. Preparing for my second radio appearance on Monday.
It’s hard to muster up much in the way of rantiness today. Things are happening and my passion for what I am doing is starting to yield some wonderful results. So how can I type out angry words about something that annoys me?
Instead of a rant, I’m going to leave you with a life lesson that it took me too goddamned long to learn but which has finally sunk into my head: STOP WASTING TIME ON UNSATISFYING RELATIONSHIPS!
I apologize for yelling at you, but it’s so important and I know we all have struggled with this issue from time to time. If you are putting in more than you are getting back and the pattern never changes, even after direct conversations, let them go.
As we walk through this crazy, wonderful, horrible life, we would do well to surround ourselves with those who lift us up, provide encouragement, cheer our victories and pour us a drink when we fuck up. If you are lucky, you have a few people in your life like that. I certainly do, and yet I spent years obsessing over those friends who were unavailable, unresponsive, unsupportive and just plain selfish.
And, as I recently discovered, a wee bit underhanded and purposeful shit-stirrers.
Maybe I expect too much from people, but I don’t think I do. I give as good as I get. If you lose your job, I’ll bring you flowers and cry with you. Well, I won’t cry, but I’ll watch you cry and refrain from laughing at you.
If you ask me to dinner, I will respond graciously to your invitation. If you need to talk, I will listen. If you need to borrow money, you are shit out of luck, friend, but you know I love you and I’ll help you find cans to recycle.
I’m on a vision quest this year, and I’ve learned more about myself in 6 months than all my other years combined. I do believe I’m experiencing a bit of a mid-life crisis, but without the crisis. It’s more like a metamorphosis. And I’ve realized that those who don’t care about me and my transformation from worm to butterfly aren’t meant to join me on this journey.
And that’s OK! Frankly, they won’t even notice that I’m not around anymore, which is awfully telling in and of itself.
A year from now, when I am sunning myself on a lovely yacht in Greece in-between book signings, podcast recordings and developing my Judge Robin show, I will think back and recall fun times with people who have come and gone. As I wave to Beyonce and Jay-Z on the neighboring boat, I may wonder how old friends are doing, or I may not.
Of course I won’t have to wonder about the good friends, because they will be with me on the yacht, popping the champagne and dancing in the sun. Because you dance with the one that brought you – and it is the love and support of the wonderful people in my life who are helping me get where I want to be. The least I can do is take them along for the ride.
So, do you have people in your life who don’t reciprocate your efforts in the relationship? Walk away. Let go. Say goodbye, either directly or not. “Fill your tribe with those who are worthy of your friendship,” as my friend Felicia noted yesterday.
My tribe has grown both smaller and bigger this year and that’s a pretty great thing. I am humbled by the love and encouragement so many have shown me since I began this blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Next week’s Sunday Rant will be less sentimental and more ranty, I promise.