Obviously yesterday was a version of Friday Feedback, so I see no need to do it again today. Instead, I’d like to thank you all for reading and sharing the blog and for the continued support I get from your emails, texts and calls. As my management works toward the book and radio deal, I am taking stock of what really matters to me insofar as the ultimate goal of this career change.
Is it to make a lot of money? Maybe, but not really. Don’t get me wrong – that would be fabulous. But I’ve been there, done that and I know the number on your paycheck doesn’t mean shit if you hate your job. I know I’d like to make enough to make my managers some coin, since they believed in me when I was just a fledgling blogger with a silly dream.
I’d really like to make enough to replenish Mr. Patience and Understanding’s accounts that were decimated by the Divorce Industrial Complex so he can retire someday, even though he probably never will because he’s got that work-ethic thingy. Our goal is a second home in Palm Springs by the time Jake goes off to college where we will live, love, work and golf 6 months out of the year when Portland is a rainy shit show.
So I’ve got five years to make that happen. No pressure.
Is my goal to help people? The truthful answer is: sort of. I want very much to give advice that is meaningful and helpful to those who trust me with their issues. However, and I’m sure those of you with more than a few brain cells have caught onto this already, the true goal is to entertain the readers, and eventually the listeners.
That’s why I endeavor to make the blog funny. Sometimes I miss the mark and sometimes I offend people. I’m not going to make some bullshit apology because if you are offended, you have the right to tune out. Your lack of humor offends me, so there!
I’ve been called a lot of interesting things in the past 24 hours, including: white trash, a man posing as a woman (?), a cunt, shameless (that’s pretty accurate), psychotic (and a host of other versions of crazy), ignorant and a poor writer (this from a Tea Party enthusiast who also accused me of having an “abortion punch card,” which I found clever but not original), a self righteous pig, a putrid, low-class woman, having a “predilection with (sic) dead babies,” and my personal favorite, a fucktard. I love that word.
I’ve been advised to seek employment at McDonald’s and to do something that while it sounds sort of interesting, is probably anatomically impossible and most certainly illegal in the southern states. These ladies put a lot of time and effort into me yesterday. I think they like me!
I’ve also gotten some wonderful words of encouragement and support from a woman I have admired for some time – a talented woman who knows a thing or two about working her ass off to achieve her dreams, fighting her demons and also about the profoundly bored, cognitively challenged and unhappy people on Twitter who seem to exist solely for the purpose of taking our their rage anonymously on people they don’t know.
For those women, and they are always women, I’m sorry to tell you my blog auto-posts to Twitter and I have taken the app off my phone and computer so any ranting you choose to do won’t be seen by me. I won’t be arguing with you or trying to explain my sense of humor, because there is simply no point. If you want to piss in the wind, suit yourself, but none of it is going to land on me.
And now this white trash, uneducated, ignorant fucktard who can’t write is off to the dentist. Even us putrid, low-class women want to keep our pearly whites looking nice. We don’t want the abortionist to have to look at ugly teeth every 5 months. Well, 7 months. I’m not as fertile as I used to be.
Have a great weekend, everyone!