Friday Feedback! Oh boy, people are mad at me!
Welcome to Friday Feedback, our weekly navel-gazing exercise initiated by reader critiques! Today I will address some missives directed to me on the Rolling Stone website in response to my comment on a Miley Cyrus profile.
My comment:
“Miley, you need some guidance from an expert. As a recovering lawyer and now advice columnist, I can help you make some better decisions and understand why you are acting out. You’ll like me because I’m a straight shooter, I’m tough and I use a ton of profanity. Give me a shout. www.askdescamp.com.”
Let’s start with “Axel.” I don’t think Axel likes me very much.
Axel Robin Descamp-Sand
“Wow, a ‘recovering’ lawyer AND you use a ton of profanity? You sound so hilarious and hip and relevant! You must have TONS of experience with her complex legal, business, and emotional matters – after all you have a psychology degree, right? Your bottom-tier law school must be so proud you’re soliciting clients in the comment section of rolling stone. Go away, loser.”
FYI: I responded back to Axel in the comments that he or she scored zero for reading comprehension
Dear Axel:
I think you may have misunderstood what I meant by “recovering lawyer.” Allow me to elucidate: I am hoping to take a new career path which involves writing an advice blog and possibly developing it into a radio program or podcast. Perhaps you thought I meant I was “in recovery,” which is most certainly not the case. Still, it seems mean-spirited to allege that if I was “in recovery” that would make me somehow less competent or relevant.
I do in fact have TONS (why are you shouting at me?) of experience in complex legal, business and emotional matters, although alas I do not have a degree in psychology. I chose instead to pursue a degree in political science, ostensibly because it paired well with my law school plans but in reality because the political science major had no math requirement.
With all due respect to your assessment of my law school, I attended Northwestern School of Law at Lewis and Clark College, which is most certainly not a bottom-tier school. It’s no Yale or what we like to call “The Other Northwestern,” but it ‘s a good school. How I managed to get admitted is a whole different story…
You are right that the school is not proud of me, but that’s because a school can’t be proud of anyone. It’s a building, dumbfuck.
And since I was merely trying to direct people to my free advice blog, your assertion that I was attempting to “solicit clients” shows that while I may have attended a somewhat second rate law school, you most likely experienced your highest level of education prior to taking and failing your GED exam. I’m pleased that you gained some computer skills as evidenced by your Rolling Stone online activity, but perhaps you should spend less time surfing the Internet and more time on your University of Phoenix application.
And I’m a winner, baby, Things are gonna change; I can feel it.
Next up, we have “AD,” which I believe stands for “Asshole Deluxe” or “Another Dumbfuck”
“yes, you don’t understand, Axel. Robin was trying to shamelessly self promote himself in a comment section on an online magazine. One can always “recover” from poor reading skills however I doubt one can “recover” from such deep levels of pathetic.go back to being a lawyer and stop joking to yourself.”
Dear AD:
“Self promote himself” is redundant, terrible grammar and gender inaccurate. Clearly my self promotion efforts failed here, as you couldn’t even be bothered to google me and see that I am of the fairer sex.
As for “shameless self-promotion,” I’m all for it! If one displays shame when they promote themselves, they aren’t likely to get very far. When you went for your last job interview as the porta-potty utility worker (sorry you didn’t get that one, better luck next time!) did you ask for the job while simultaneously impressing upon the employer your self-loathing and regret?
I gave up shame some time ago. It’s a worthless and useless emotion as well as totally unnecessary if you live your life authentically and don’t hurt others.
Self-promotion, shameless or not, is the only way I am going to get anywhere with this new project, and I think the lengths to which I am willing to go directly contradict your assertion that I am deeply pathetic. As I stated above in my response to Axel, I’m a winner! I’m sorry you don’t feel that way about me, but I do accept that not everyone can appreciate what I am doing here.
Regarding your career advice, thank you for the suggestion; I will certainly take it to heart. I may in fact be able to do two jobs: lawyering and advice blogging, and to the extent I can make that happen I will do so.
As to whether or not I will stop “joking to myself,” I’m puzzled and not sure exactly what you mean. Do you mean “kidding” myself, as in “don’t kid yourself, you suck and this blog will never fly?” If so, you are going to feel really dumb when you turn on your 12 inch black and white TV in a few months, adjust the rabbit ears because your new trailer park doesn’t have cable, and see my mug being interviewed on “Entertainment Tonight.”
If by “stop joking to yourself” you meant stop telling jokes to myself, I don’t do that. Humor masturbation isn’t my thing – I need a partner to whom I can deliver my witty wisdom and with whom I can giggle and titter. However, I do thank you for your input. I will give it every bit of attention it deserves.
Now run along, those children aren’t just going to kidnap and molest themselves, you know!
-Robin
This Post Has 5 Comments
Comments are closed.
People don’t have a sense of humor these days. Glad you brushed the haters off!!
Ali is right! Some people are so full of hate they throw flames at every opportunity. Me? I am way too chicken to engage with the loser-assholes, but admire Robin for her courage and chutzpah. Hard to imagine what these trolls get out of the hate mail, and even stranger, just heard about internet “sockpuppetry.” Can things possibly get any more bizarre in this new world we’re inhabiting?
Love your shit girl! I really enjoy seeing you squat on the problems of lesser mortals. Here’s hoping that you continue to squat on them for many years to come!
Damn, girl. Take a deep breath.
I love your blog 🙂 Advice for the nay-sayers: Don’t argue with a lawyer!