Friday Feedback: Get Off Your High Horse

Dear Readers:

Welcome to Friday Feedback, our weekly abortion of the unplanned fetus of opinions that form the lining of this blog.

Yeah, I know that was lame.  I’m running out of bodily references so feel free to send me any suggestions.

If you are a faithful reader you are familiar with Unhappy Bride.  I was so stunned by the question sent by this woman that I did significant email back and forth plus a little research on the internet to confirm her identity, because not only were her complaints stunning in their audacity and unapologetic hypocrisy, but if she reads my blog at all she would know she was coming to the wrong place.

If you missed this one you really need to check it out.  Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you to finish! Unhappy Bride.

I received this comment from TM:

“WTF? There are really people this dumb out there in the world? I’m with you, maybe this is a fake scenario. If not, hubby is hopefully going to just have that marriage annulled and pretend it never happened (which he already seems to be doing).

“While the US can indeed be the land of opportunity, that phrase isn’t generally meant to say it’s for whining, simpering females to show up and get married for support. The thought is that you have the opportunity to develop a career at something to earn your own way.”

Bravo, TM.  I agree with you, although “Casey” does not:

“Get off your high horse.  This woman is an immigrant and clearly being taken advantage of by a disgusting old man who married her for her money, not the other way around.  She may have been a victim of sex trafficking: you have no idea so I’d be careful about spouting your poisonous beliefs online until you know her history.”

Settle down, Casey.  I don’t want you so upset and distracted that you miss the bus to your local community college Women’s Studies Friday lecture “Men: Can We Kill them All and Still Have Babies, and If So, Can We Kill the Male Babies?”

There was absolutely nothing in Lora’s original or subsequent communications with me to suggest she was a victim of anything.  She is a very pretty young woman who speaks and writes English better than many people born here so it’s obvious she is educated.  

I’m scratching my head trying to understand your leap to “sex trafficking victim.”  

Are you suggesting all female immigrants to the U.S. arrive through some sort of amnesty-for-pussy deal?  Because if that’s the case, someone should tell all those Mexicans crossing the dangerous rivers down south that there is an easier (though somewhat distasteful) way to obtain residency here.


From “George” in response to My Husband Wants a Motorcycle (go back and re-read it as this was written several weeks ago and it’s a good one):

“I found your blog last week and I’ve been working backward ever since.  I stopped dead in my tracks when I read the one about the older motorcycle enthusiast that was written by his (please pardon my French) bitch wife.

“The reason I was so moved is because I was in a terrible marriage until very recently.  I was so reluctant to get a divorce because of the family and economic impact that I stayed for years with a miserable, unhappy and frigid woman.

“I bought a motorcycle and started riding it like a maniac, and had a minor crash that resulted in a broken arm and a heart-to-heart with my doctor, who got through the bullshit and suggested I had a death wish brought on by an unhappy life.  He was right.

“Long story short: I sold the bike, got my divorce, and I’m doing well.  I gave up a shit load of money to start my new life but I’m happy and my kids are doing fine.

“Sorry for the rambling.  Love your blog!”

Well, George, I don’t think I have anything to add here, except thank you for writing to me.  Congratulations on having the courage to start over.

Lastly, I received this admonition from P.L. in response to I Drink Too Much:

“You are treading on some very dangerous ground and you are unqualified to say the least to give advice on addiction.  I shared this with other addiction counselors in my peer group and we all agreed you should be held accountable for giving your ‘advice’ in such a glib manner.  Stick to what you know, please, and leave the important subjects to the experts.”

My thoughts are conflicted here, because despite the somewhat nasty tone of the email I wholeheartedly agree with P.L. that I am not qualified as an addiction expert (unless you count my personal expertise) and I also agree there are many others more well-suited to advise people who have questions and concerns about substance use and abuse.

However, P.L., I’d like to direct you back to what I wrote, and specifically the following:

I appreciate your letter, although coming to me for advice on this topic is rather like going to Oscar Pistorius for advice on gun safety or Bill Cosby on creative (and legal) ways to pick up women.

I used to buy wine based upon varietal, region, age, and of course, price. I considered myself a bit of a connoisseur, to tell you the truth.

Now I just buy the ones with the screw cap so I can open them more quickly.

See, words are important.  At the end I also advised the writer to discuss his concerns with his doctor.

It’s people like you who drive the rest of us to drink, so the next time you act like a smug little prick with a superiority complex rivaling most, remember that you are part of the problem, while I am the solution to all the world’s difficulties.  

Perhaps deep down you know that, because you went to the trouble of sharing my blog with all your peers and as we know, sharing is caring.

Time to dash, as today I must complete Chapter 2 and move ever-closer to publication of How to Get Divorced Without Losing Your Kids, Your Money and Your Mind: a Holistic and Practical Guide to Marital Dissolution and Family Reorganization.  Nefarious divorce lawyers: you have been warned.

Happy Friday and have a great weekend!