Welcome back to Friday Feedback, in which we publish critique from our readers and react inappropriately to it. And we’re off!
(In response to smoking houseguest from the question submitter)
Awesome. Touche. I am slain. Where did you get those pictures?
-Sleepless in Seattle
You texted them to me, most likely after ingesting an excessive amount of Aviation Gin. I save all photos, especially incriminating ones, for future use in goading, I-told-you-so-ing and blackmail opportunities. Please feel free to send more.
Are all your questions real? I have a hard time believing that people would actually tell you this stuff.
With the exception of the obvious joke questions (which I haven’t done for a while because the real questions require a good deal of work), yes. For some reason, and this has always been true, people I don’t know tell me things – highly personal things – and I’m not really sure why. When I am asked to, I will change a few non-relevant facts such as hometown, job, etc. for people who do not want to be identified. Other than that, this blog is 100% real, and it’s spectacular!
(Seinfeld reference – couldn’t help myself)
I met you the other night in Los Angeles and now I follow your blog. It is hilarious, keep it up!
If I remember correctly, you were one of the Three Amigos, I think the guy with the mustache. Am I right? Or were you Canada Guy? Either way, thanks! Keep reading and send me your questions!
I read your blog about bridge burning and I thought it was really stupid. You should never burn bridges, especially if you live in a small city which I know you do. Maybe you should re-think that one, or better yet, stop passing yourself off as someone who can give advice to others. Idiot.
I can only assume that is your name, because you closed with it and did not sign with another. I’m sorry you either 1) feel that way about yourself or 2) don’t know how to sign hate mail properly.
You are referring to The Art of the Bridge Burn, PLUS Plastic Surgery: My friend says no! I’m afraid you score low on the reading comprehension scale, because I did provide other advice besides how to burn the bridge.
Regardless, I disagree with your assessment of my analysis. While bridge burning is certainly not always the way to go, sometimes destroying a path back to what makes us unhappy is the only way to build a new bridge to a better life and ensure we will never drift in that old unhappy direction again.
Which reminds me: Old Boss? You know who you are and I bet you read the blog.
You’re a dick.
Do you know how to get a really large blood stain out of a carpet?
Dear Cleaning Up:
Um, no. Thanks for your letter, though. Try Martha Stewart’s blog, or consult with Casey Anthony. Also, please don’t email me again.