I wish I had given myself this gift a long time ago.
I finished the bulk of my book, Divorce by Design: How to Split Without Losing Your Mind, Your Money, or Your Kids in July, 2015.
Of last year.
Despite the fact I regularly crank out 7,000 words a week or more, this book took a long time to write, and not just because I was also creating blog content.
It took a long time to write because I was instructed to be less “Robin” than I am on the blog and more serious. When you write in a voice that isn’t wholly yours, it takes much longer.
But I finished it last summer. I finished the god-damned thing and off it went to the people who had been reading my blog and were interested in publishing the book.
And then it sat. It sat because those same people told my management it wasn’t “Robin” enough.
I don’t know why I had such a hard time coming back to the book and writing it with my true voice, but I did. It sat there on my desktop every day, mocking me when I would power up my computer as if to say,
“I told you you’d never amount to anything. You’ll never finish me. Nobody cares and I will remain unread by anyone but you forever. Also, you suck.”
Yes, readers: I am aware I have issues.
Something changed in me last week and I was delivered the gift of a tsunami of motivation. Gifts sometimes come in strange packages and we can miss them if we aren’t paying attention.
I am 47 years old and with the exception of business travel, I have never gone on a trip alone. In fact, the very idea frightened and repelled me. Ugh – why would I want to be stuck with myself somewhere? We barely get along when other people are around – why would we travel solo?
Again, yes, readers: I am aware I have issues.
But I knew if I didn’t get away from the dogs and the house and the city in which I was born the book would remain incomplete, sneering at me and reminding me of my broken promises to myself, my team, and my family.
A friend offered me this beautiful home in which I have done more writing, and really fucking great writing, than I have in two years.
(Dear benefactor: THANK YOU!)
This book was good.
Now it’s great. Really great.
I am on track to finish by Sunday, a goal I thought was ridiculous when I set it but which somehow seems easy now. Solitude has paved a path to a creative explosion and this book will be published very soon.
As I look outside at the gorgeous Pacific Ocean this morning I see a rainbow, and I can’t help but think it’s for me.
Enjoy this re-run and have a wonderful day!