I was divorced about a year ago from my ex-husband who suffered from some sort of a breakdown when he hit the age of 40.
Maybe you call it a mid-life crisis or whatever but he quit his job and became a ghost at home. I found out he had not one, not two, but three mistresses. Not kidding. I had also caught him cheating before, when I was nursing our second child.
My ex underwent somewhat of a physical transformation in the years after our marriage. He had been pretty overweight and had some skin issue, but he got in great shape and his skin cleared up. Since then he has been really vain and looks in the mirror more than the average guy.
Once his looks changed, he started cheating. That was bad enough but then he quit his job because he just “wasn’t happy and fulfilled” and at that point I’d had enough. We split, we share custody, and we managed to create a positive life for our kids and ourselves after our divorce. I give you credit for that, because I found you before I filed and it really changed my attitude.
OK so I’ve been divorced, not ready to date, and I know my ex has been dating a lot of women. But recently he wants to get back together and I’m thinking about it. I miss my family.
Last week he emailed me a “surprise” of a weekend trip itinerary he put together. He wants us to go alone to reconnect. I don’t know. I’m worried if we do that and get back together I’ll just be hurt again.
Like I said though, I really miss being a family. I didn’t know how much I would but sometimes it really hurts.
What’s your advice?
Dear Once Bitten:
This is a great question, thanks!
Unfortunately I’ve spent the past four hours finalizing some mediation documents and my blog publishes via email in exactly 20 minutes. I will respond to your question either tomorrow or Thursday.
Today I urge my lovely readers:
Do not forget that I have begun mediation services. I’m setting up my business now but you can still reach out to me and tell me your story.
I have an extremely unique approach to mediation. I don’t believe waiting until you’ve litigated a case for months and are about to go to trial is the time you go to mediation. It should begin much sooner.
Nor do I believe in the typical structure of mediation in which adversaries are forced to cram everything into one or two days and make a decision under enormous pressure.
My model is very different and very effective.
Please email me at email@example.com if you’d like to hear more about it. The best part?
I work unlimited hours on a small flat fee basis (tiny compared to ordinary mediators) AND you don’t pay me if I don’t settle your case.
That business model will change as my practice grows but I’m beginning this way because I am that confident in my ability to bring cooperation and resolution to people in conflict.
Click below for the announcement I made in February about my services, which in addition to mediation services also includes review of legal billing statements.
Why would I offer to review your billing statements? Because I am an expert at it. I know exactly how some DICKs (Divorce Industrial Complex Kingpins) manage to cheat their clients and I can spot their tricks a mile away.
If you owe your lawyer money and you think you were overcharged, come see Mommy. I’ll help you.
Finally, if anyone is interested in a three-day complete hike of the Wildwood Trail here in Portland (just over 30 miles), please email me to get on the list. Once again, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org.
I am working with several others to pick a weekend this summer in which we split up the trail into three parts and end with a barbecue and beer-chugging contest at beautiful Skyline Tavern.
Time to start training so sign up now! I was thinking June but now looking at August to ensure good weather.
Before you leave the blog today, make a comment. Nobody can see your email address and if you don’t want me to know who you are you can make one up. What do you think about sleeping with the ex? My new business? The Wildwood Walk?
I’m trying to develop a more robust commenting community so don’t be shy: step right up!