Unknown 5

I Found My Daughter’s Birth Control: Now What?

Dear Robin:

I admit to snooping in my 15-year-old daughter’s room last week.  I was worried she might be smoking pot because she seems spacey and out of it lately.  I didn’t find any pot, but I did find birth control pills hidden under her mattress.

She has a boyfriend but they’ve only been dating a few weeks.  I do my best to make sure they are never alone together but obviously they are managing to find enough time to have sex.  I am not handling this well and I want to talk to her but I don’t want to upset her and I do not want her father to find out.  This would break his heart.

I also want to know how she got this.  Isn’t there a law or something that teenagers can’t get prescriptions without their parents’ OK?  I live in California.

Meddling Mom

Dear Meddling Mom:

This is such a great question!  

Unfortunately, today I must deal with this:

Why So Mad, BRO?

I’ll answer your question Monday, but in the meantime I’ll give the readers our email exchange.  Yes, my friends, you get to peek inside my process and marvel at its unique beauty!


What day was last punched out on the pill packet?


I’m not sure, why?


Well, pregnancy can certainly lead to being “spacey” and “out of it.”  Go check.


OK, it looks like she’s current.  That doesn’t really solve my problem, though.  I don’t want her having sex.  She’s too young!


Which do you treasure more: your daughter’s imagined virtue or your current status as a non-grandmother?


Good point.


Duh.  So what’s the deal with Dad?  Why don’t you want him to know?


She’s his baby.  I think he will flip.


Do you have boys?


Yes, two.


Has your husband had “the talk” with them about birth control and protection from STDs?


Yes, we both did when they started high school.


Did you have that talk with your daughter?


I handled it – he didn’t feel comfortable.



So did you give your daughter the same speech you gave your boys?


Not really.  It was more about saving yourself for the right guy.  Not a husband, I’m not that naive, but just waiting because you don’t want to give away your virginity to someone who doesn’t deserve it.  That kind of regret really stays with you.


You speak about virginity as if it’s some sort of a gift to give and receive.  I’d argue the opposite.  Regardless, I’m sorry you regret your selection of cherry-poppers.  Believe me, your experience was better than mine.


Why?  What happened?


Never mind.  Back to your daughter: How is she doing generally?  Grades, activities, friends?


Great.  3.8 GPA, nice group of people around her, plays competitive soccer.


You like the boyfriend?


Yes, he’s very sweet.


OK, stay tuned for my answer next week.  And put those pills back where you found them, unless you want to raise a baby for your daughter or watch her go through the torture of ending a pregnancy or giving up a child for adoption.


I certainly don’t want any of those things.  Thanks!  

In Closing:

Readers, if you have not yet done so I urge you to leave a comment on yesterday’s blog.  


Before you do so and assuming you have time, go back and read these:


1. Cast of Characters

2. Sarah’s Story

3. Let’s Get Something Straight

4. The Box, the Lies, and the Unraveling

5. We Interrupt this Program for an Announcement!

6. The Vacation from Hell

7. Here We Go Again!

I am truly stunned that anyone could read what I wrote and come to the conclusion that my words were “inflammatory, abusive and misleading designed to damage the reputation of (Complainant)” and that they “also further promote the estrangement of the children from (Complainant) and within children’s support networks.”

You tell me, Readers.  Sound off in the comments.  My website is set up so not only do I have no way of knowing the identity of commenters, you don’t even need to leave a valid email address.  Just make one up!  

Here’s one:


Get on over there and leave a comment!

Yesterday’s Blog: Is Robin a Bigot?


This Post Has 4 Comments


    Why don’t you just resign? What’s the point? You don’t want to practice law ever again, right? Why do you subject yourself to these idiots?

    1. Robin DesCamp

      I am starting to wonder the same thing, especially after receiving a snotty letter from the bar this morning in which my concerns about transparency were summarily dismissed and my request for a meeting so I could better understand the process was flat-out refused. So why don’t I resign? Because I think certain people would feel like that’s a “win” for them. That has been my attitude but lately I’m coming around to thinking that if my bar association goes to such lengths to protect itself and lawyers who cheat their clients, perhaps it is an organization not worthy of my participation, even as a lowly non-active member.

  2. Jiminy

    I like that you are taking a stand

  3. Bunny W

    Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? F*ck the Oregon Bar. You have bigger fish to fry and if I know you like I think I do, you’d pull all your teeth from your mouth without the aid of a numbing agent before you’d be a lawyer again. Everyone knows you are the farthest thing from a bigot and you should not waste your time trying to convince people who don’t matter of this. Peace out Girl Scout.

Comments are closed.