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Bigots, Employees, and Irony

Dear Readers:

I received a deeply disturbing email this morning that requires my full attention, so today you are receiving leftovers.

The blog linked below explores how a manager should deal with the bigoted writings put forth on the Internet by someone at her organization:

Black Bigot in my Non-Profit!

So what’s going on with me this morning that demands this re-run?

I have once again been accused of trans-phobic bigotry in relation to the Anatomy of a Disaster series, but this time by an organization I deeply respect and admire.  As I wrote to them in an email this morning, all they had to do was to reach out to me with the allegations and I could have easily provided proof that each one was unequivocally false.

I hope they respond.  As I’ve written before, until Samantha came along, I have never been accused of homo or trans bigotry.  I’ve been called a bitch (true), fat (working on it), stupid (not true), unethical (not true), and ugly (debatable?).

Readers, I would really appreciate your comments.  

Here are things I’ve written on the transgender subject: TransBlogger.

Here are things I’ve written on homosexuality: Homoblogger

Am I a bigot and totally unaware of it?  I don’t think so.  You tell me.

I do admit to one loathing of a particular group of people: sleazy, shady, unethical, greedy, fat-fingered DICKs who wreak havoc in family law cases so they can make more money.

Other than that group, I harbor no ill will towards any other.  This is the only allegation against me that has ever bothered me because it is so clearly false.  I did not care when Samantha alleged it because frankly, she is a fucking loony bird.

This group coming on board without any investigation at all?  

Very, very troubling.

Leave a comment, please.



This Post Has 35 Comments

  1. Gay Fan

    The problem with you is you don’t give people extra allowances just because they are a member of a specific group. Even though the piece you wrote on the cake case clearly shows you to be a huge supporter of civil rights, where you ended up on that issue could be misconstrued by certain zealots as being bigoted. I read your bar response and remember you noted something about people being dicks and getting away with it because they are in a minority group. That’s just the way it is with some people. As one of your longest fans and a very proud gay man, the charges against you are really annoying. How can I help, and who is making the accusations? Where?

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Thank you. Here is what I wrote in the response:
      Just because you are a member of a minority or a misunderstood or discriminated-against group of people, that does not give you license to be a dick. That does not give you license to treat people terribly and then when they call you on it, cry “female!” or “black!” or “transgendered!” or “over 40!” or, in my case, “unbearably sexy!”

No Matter Who You Are: Don’t Be a Dick!

See, a dick is still a dick even if they are a black dick, a gay dick, a female dick, a trans dick, an old dick, or a disabled dick – the saddest dick of all!

      Complainant sees the entire world and its reaction to her foolish, dramatic, and selfish behavior as a reflection of her transgendered status. 

Put another way, Complainant thinks people don’t like her because she was born a “he” but now identifies as a “she.” In reality, people don’t care for her because she’s an obnoxious woman with a penchant for drama unmatched since Shakespeare was born who puts untruths into the public record via baseless bar complaints.

      I do not want to identify the group yet because honestly I believe if they were to speak with me they would understand that their position was directly opposed to the facts at hand. I also have no fight with them, whether they think I do or not. I support them! My husband and his firm support them. This is just so disappointing. How can you help? Share this and ask people to comment.

  2. On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

    The non-profit referred to herein is, in my humble opinion, so far up the asses of your biggest fans they can taste the cheetos as they slide down the esophagus. And, being that far up THAT ass….well that’s a feat in and of itself. Don’t get stuck in there. That ass gets washed about as often as an elephant with a circus.

    You are not a bigot. You are not filled with hate. Those that attack you are. You have hit a nerve with petty and insecure people (who were probably (LIKELY) really, really unpopular in high school). The way petty and insecure people react is by trying to bash and downplay those of us that are smart, strong and really, really popular. I would call their actions jousting at windmills, but I try not to get too quixotic before noon.

    Hang in there, super star.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      I assume you have guessed who complained about me and you have insider knowledge of that relationship, so I appreciate the information. Also, I totally love your praise but I was super unpopular in high school. In addition, current events indicate my popularity is not at an all-time high today. I like your use of the word “quixotic” because that’s how I describe this blog: my quixotic journey to hell.

  3. Comrade

    There is a strong movement afoot by certain people to paint you with this brush. They were thrilled when you started Anatomy of a Disaster because they finally had something they thought they could pin on you that would stick. The efforts going into this are greater than you probably think. Speaking of irony: the leader is virulently homophobic. This is the worst kept secret in town, and I am in a position to know. I am very sorry this is happening to you but as you noted, your history shows no discriminatory feelings at all towards the LGBT community. I don’t see this becoming a problem for you.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Dear Comrade:
      Are you trying to make me paranoid? Why would anyone want to have a “movement” accusing me of hating the LBGTQ community? What purpose does that serve? What efforts are being made? Please email me at robin@robindescamp.com to discuss. Also, I am hereby offering reward money for documentation proving your claim about the founder, because I’ve now heard that from close to a dozen people. I do not know if it’s true but I will pay big money to anyone who can prove it. $1,000 is on the table.

  4. Kristi

    This makes me think about that saying “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”
    This person is going to make sure she is getting the grease and you are dealt with at any cost. If that means ruining your career (or attempting to), spending money suing you, trying to ruin your name locally or nationally….that’s what she will do. Not because you are in any sense what she is saying you are….but because you hit a nerve and for her it’s taking you down or owning up to the behavior.
    Clearly she is well passed owning up to her behavior.
    I’ve seen people like this as well. This isn’t even close to being over. If the disbarring doesn’t work, on to the next way to hit at you. Expect them to contact every opportunity you have in the future as well. They are like dogs with a bone.
    When I did my show, I had a very over-enthusiastic fan that when she decided I wasn’t giving her enough attention, flipped that fanatic to hate and went after me in every way possible, including calling CPS, reporting me to my employer with made up crap and getting a hold of my ex-husband. Until they had exhausted every avenue possible to them. Thank God they didn’t know my address.

    You are NOT a bigot in any shape or form. You weren’t writing about her transformation, you were writing about how she’s hurt those she loves in her journey because she’s a narcissist…it has NOTHING to do with her gender.
    Give it a rest lady and try to live your life in happiness and peace. You’ve finally obtained what you always wanted….why are you using this rest of your life attacking people who mean nothing to you instead of enjoying it? Go make peace with your kids, celebrate your life and move ON.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment. The ongoing litigation and bar complaint activity is certainly not helping her reunite with her children. Being called a bigot was bad, but being accused of encouraging this rift between Samantha and her kids was terrible too. I have long believed and espoused that except in unusual circumstances, parents should have equal access to their children. I do not want Samantha and her kids to remain estranged and why, for fuck’s sake, would I? Why does she believe I have this vendetta against her? I don’t even know her. I do know this: the escalation of this one-sided war illustrates for me perfectly the kind of person she is right now (hopefully not forever) and how that personality is affecting her children. I may believe that reunification is the best thing for all involved in this case, but if Samantha were my parent, I’d be reticent too.

  5. TLM

    Oh for Pete’s sake. You of all people are not a bigot towards anyone, least of all the LGBTQ community. Samantha is a wack job, and as you’ve said, wack jobs (or dicks) deserve to be called on their shit whether they be white, black, purple, polka dot, gay, lesbian, muslim or whatever. A wack job, is just that, a wack job. We don’t need to like them or what they are doing just because they are a member of a minority. Hang in there, and if this group is going after you without the slightest effort at figuring out the truth (which wouldn’t have been that hard), then shame on them and find some other group to give your money to.

  6. Laurie

    When a narcissist can no longer control you, they will instead try to control how others see you…

    Why didn’t this organization do their due diligence and look into these allegations? One would think, going to this extreme – the burden of proof would have been proven (or at least looked into) and not assumed. Clearly, it wasn’t.

    This is very concerning, frankly – for everyone in our area, that this highly respected (and important) organization “fired without aiming”. When someone cries wolf – sometimes there is no wolf. This is one of those times.

    I truly hope they are responsible, do the right thing and give you the opportunity to set the record straight.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Thank you for your comment. I hopeful the group will be receptive to my request for a meeting. I also intend to reach out to their board. As I have said before, criticism does not bother me, unless it is both untrue and making a serious allegation against me. That is why I never write anything I cannot prove – I have the guts to stand up for what I put out there. In this case, one person both large and small, a donor, is using this group as a proxy. She always comes at me through proxies because she is an enormous coward. All bullies are. Whether it’s using her firm’s own clients, former clients, third parties, or sending anonymous letters to my family, she can’t fight a battle on her own. It’s sad. Anyone who crows to be such a great warrior in court shouldn’t be so terrified of little old me!

  7. IMHO

    What a load of horse doo doo! How irresponsible of them to take Samantha’s word for anything! I read the trial transcripts. It was hard for EVERYONE (including Judge Allen, both attorneys, witnesses and even Sarah) to use the preferred pronoun throughout this horribly long, drawn out trial. The judge suggested instead of “Husband” or “Wife” that “Complainant” and “Responder” be used. But often, “Ms. Last Name” was used which was of course, confusing. While Samantha has encouraged the children to continue to refer to her as “Dad” how can she then say that she is insulted (damaged?) when there is a slip of the tongue with no malice intended? Any mention of wigs or cosmetics was in the context of credit card purchases. PERIOD. Do you think Judge Allen would have allowed disparaging comments to be made in her court room?

    Robin, I have read close to every word you have written on this blog and I am appalled that what I expect to be a well respected organization that does amazing work, would make such accusations without speaking with you. I respect you not naming them as I think they would then owe you a public apology after they hear what really happened.

    Continue your good work and fighting for equality. Do not second guess yourself. Anyone in their right mind knows that you are far from homophobic. She obviously isn’t in her right mind.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      “She obviously isn’t in her right mind.” True of Complainant and I have to assume based upon grief over the fact her children are rejecting her absolutely and utterly. My love for my son is visceral and if he rejected me and told people I was dead it would probably drive me mad. However, that she blames me for her lot in life is not a valid reaction to her pain.

      Maybe your comment was directed towards someone else, to which I’ll respond: I would not be in my right mind either if I were under investigation by governmental agencies who have the ability to fine or imprison me. Desperation is the author of atrocity.

      1. Good Lawyers Are Hard to Find

        Oh, snap! Do tell!!!! What investigation!!!!!??????

        1. Robin DesCamp

          Hey, it could be nothing. People are often the subjects of (so far) 4-months-long investigations that never find any wrongdoing. Why, just last year I was investigated by the DOJ and the IRS for running money through and soliciting cash for a non-profit that essentially never delivered any services.

          Oh wait, that didn’t happen! I confused myself with something that happened in a nightmare I had once in which I was an orange-fingered vodka-swilling sleazy and hated divorce lawyer blackballed by a tennis club. Silly me!


    Robin, I think I’ve read every blog entry you’ve written and we’ve had quite a few conversations, and I’ve never seen you display any kind of prejudice or bigotry, except for lawyers who cheat their clients, act unethically, and generally give all the rest of us a bad name.

    This complaint must have been instigated, if not written, by the same DICK who drafted Samantha’s complaint against you. I’d advise you to consider the source, and I’d expect the bar to give it as little credence as they’re going to give Samantha’s. I hope you can talk to the complainants and show them the evidence that will immediately clear you.

    Keep your chin up.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Thank you. They have not yet responded to my email invitation. If they do not, and if when I provide absolute proof that the claims are untrue they do not apologize to me and retract the complaint, I will know this is not the organization I thought it was. I’ve written some pretty funny and awful things about OJ Simpson and nobody ever accused me of being a racist. I’ve written some funny and awful things about Donald Trump and Sarah Palin, yet I’ve never heard from The Arc of Multnomah County. I’ve written some funny and awful things about certain lawyers and I’ve never been accused of animal abuse. This is so ridiculous as to render me, like Complainant, dumbstruck.

  9. PAM

    Read the complaint read the response and can’t believe some group is piling on too. If this is any indication of how she lives her life and parents her kids no wonder they never want to see her again. She obviously won’t be happy until this is front page news with her real name and get kids are totally exposed to ridicule and humiliation. I am very impressed at your restraint but I’m starting to think not posting the response online with all the names is not the way to handle this. Why do you keep standing down on that? You’ve been given more than enough provocation.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      I’ve stated and will continue to state I would like to see this family healed and Complainant able to secure another job. The last thing I want is for the kids to read their dad’s crazy allegations against me as I have to imagine they would think them very strange and misplaced. I also would never do anything to threaten her ability to get a jobt and I believe the complaint she drafted shows clear indications of a troubled person. If she chooses to continue in this manner I have to assume she wants very much for this to become a well-known thing in this town. That is why I do not publish her name, as much as she seems to want me to.

  10. Robin DesCamp

    I wonder if the same organization filed a judicial complaint against this judge? I hope to hell they did, because if they didn’t, someone smells very foul here.

  11. PAM

    I get it. I wouldn’t be that way, but I get it. As you asked the bar to do I re-read everything in the series. I do not understand how anyone could read that and think you were anything-phobic. My good thoughts are with you and I admire you standing up for people in pain and not capitulating to political pressure that is misplaced and suspect.

  12. CDF

    Is this Basic Rights Oregon? I hope not, I have given significant amounts of money to them. This is bullshit,

  13. Bud

    In reading your blog religiously the last year or so, I have never found you to be bigoted, phobic, hateful (or any other negatively associated adjective you can find) towards the LBGTQ society. Never. Not one scintilla of evidence supports this ridiculous claim by Cuckoo Magoo Sam-a-lamma-ding-dong.

    Yes, sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the grease. One hundred percent of the time, the squeaky wheel gets annoying.

    I agree with the commenter who said Samantha can’t accept facts because it means admitting her own wrong doing (I’m paraphrasing here.) Until she can accept some responsibility in the soup-sandwich that is her life, she will continue to try to hurt you. Keep batting that pesky fly away. We believe in you!

  14. PRD

    I’m going to assume after doing a little digging that this is Basic Rights Oregon. Any response to your email? Any interest in a defamation suit? Check your email for my contact information.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      To sue successfully I would have to establish:
      (1) that a defamatory statement was made or communicated (it was)
      (2) that the defamatory statement was published (it was) and
      (3) that the defamatory statement caused the plaintiff to suffer damages.
      The damages is the hard part because it’s too soon to tell. However, I have it on good authority that a deal I was working on was tanked because someone has been trying to establish that I am homophobic and transphobic.

      So what constitutes a defamatory statement in Oregon? “…one which would subject a person to hatred, contempt or ridicule, or tend to diminish the esteem, respect, goodwill or confidence in which one is held or to excite adverse, derogatory, or unpleasant feelings or opinions against one.” Newton v. Family Federal Savings and Loan Association, 48 Or App 373, 376, 616 P2d 1213 (1980).

      Yes, the words written about me by this organization were defamatory. Yes, they were published. In fact, the same is true of everything alleged by Complainant in her bar complaints. These things were published with a reckless disregard for the truth. And since everyone seems to know this latest complaint was filed by Basic Rights Oregon, I will admit it was. I am dismayed that they did not take even the most basic steps to investigate the veracity of the words they put on their letterhead and into the public record. All the claims against me and the other attorney are provably false. BRO does not seem to care. I asked them in my email for a meeting and they did not respond. As my co-conspirator pointed out to me this morning, I will probably get another bar complaint from them for trying to intimidate them into dropping the complaint. For the record, here was my email:

      Good morning. I received the bar complaint you filed against me today and I was quite dismayed. Until this matter came into my life, I have never been accused of being a bigot. Never. A quick perusal of my Internet presence history will tell you who I am and what I stand for.

      I wish your organization had consulted with either Mr. Engel or myself prior to this filing. The court records and the documents submitted by Complainant in her complaint against me and Mr. Engel directly contradict the allegations made first by her, and now by Basic Rights Oregon.

      Complainant is understandably distressed about her situation and the current status of her relationship with her children, but that relationship has nothing to do with me. I was not alarmed when she filed the bar complaint against me because I know the allegations are completely false (and I used her own documents to prove it) and I know I am not the bigot she alleged me to be.

      This complaint does concern me, because I have long respected your organization. I am troubled that prior to filing such a serious document against two Oregon lawyers, you did not attempt to substantiate the allegations contained within that complaint. If you had, you would have seen that the complaint you filed was absolutely inaccurate.

      If you are willing to discuss this matter, I would very much like to meet. The fact that a group I support and believe does good work has put their name on a complaint filled with inaccuracies against me is very troubling. I’d appreciate an opportunity to set the record straight and provide evidence to you that disproves the issues raised in your complaint.

      Thank you for your consideration,

      Robin DesCamp

    2. Robin DesCamp

      To answer your question (and thanks for your email – just got it) I am not interested in suing a group that I think does good work. There is no upside for me – none – and if I did the case would be further publicized and the family would suffer. You could tell me now I’d win a million bucks and I still wouldn’t do it. They filed a very misguided complaint filled with untrue statements. My hope is that after they read my response to the OSB, they will retract the complaint. If they don’t, fuck it. I have bigger fish to fry than suing an organization that seems to think I am the enemy, when I am not.

  15. Pingback: I Found My Daughter’s Birth Control: Now What? | RobinDesCamp.com

  16. Good Lawyers Are Hard to Find

    Can you please email me the latest complaint filed by BRO? Or at least describe it? Why would they get involved in this? As I sit here crossing their name off my list of causes I contribute to, I see your comment above regarding the “Honorable” (I don’t think so) Judge Vance Day. So do we know whether Basic Rights Oregon filed a complaint against HIM?

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Please email me at robin@robindescamp.com and I will forward it to you. As for Vance Day, I do not know the answer but I have made a records request to the Oregon State Bar. I have also requested copies of any other complaints BRO has filed over the years. There certainly have been loudly bigoted lawyers to complain about, although some are loudly bigoted behind closed doors in what they think is safe company.

  17. Biggest Fan

    Does Basic Rights Oregon know that their good buddy threatened to “out” your friend to his Christian Conservative boss if he didn’t do what she wanted and give his wife (her client) what she wanted? Do they know that a former employee says the firm employees made fun of their transgender client ALL THE TIME? Do they care? What the hell is going on over there?

    1. Robin DesCamp

      This is the last comment I’ll respond to for a while – I need a good 6 miler this morning to clear my head.
      1. How would I know if BRO knows about that story? You assume they have read everything I’ve ever written and frankly, I don’t believe they have read ANYTHING I’ve written, including the series. I know that when I asked a gay rights activist with his head up this firm’s ass (as another commenter so eloquently put it yesterday) if that story changed his mind about this person, he first refused to answer, and then said no. So a gay rights activist thinks it is OK for a divorce attorney to BLACKMAIL a client’s husband into capitulation in a divorce. Can you say,”fucking cult?” I would never in a million years associate with someone like that. I even offered to put this activist in touch with the man in question, who had agreed to speak with him. The activist refused. Nice position for an ostrich, but not someone who purports to be a community leader for LGBTQ issues.

      2. Again, I have no idea what BRO knows or doesn’t know and I have yet to see absolute proof that this happened because it probably doesn’t exist. I am told two employees in particular could swear that it did in a deposition, so if Complainant ever pulls her head out of her ass long enough to realize who really fucked her over, I’d be happy to give her these names. Posting someone’s photo all over your office and laughing at it is not conduct becoming a lawyer. I hope the commenter who initially revealed that little ditty is reading and will chime in here.

  18. Short game

    SMH… What does Samantha thing she’ll gain from this? I’ve been reading your posts for about a year and NEVER, EVER thought that you were bigoted or phobic to the LGBT community. In fact, you are the last person that should be labeled as hateful to that group. BRO did not do their due diligence before filing the complaint against you… Why? IMHO, this is a great story of yet another poor victim abused because of who they are – if the truth that Samantha is a naristic, crazy, nut job (pun intended) was exposed it wouldn’t be as exciting for BRO. This organization should be ashamed of themselves!

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Back from my run and I thank you for your comment. It is astounding that this group filed this complaint without looking into the facts. I urge anyone who donates to BRO to send your money elsewhere. That they have refused to acknowledge my email and request to meet tells me this: they don’t care that the allegations are not true. The allegations fit into a narrative they want to spin. Why? Well, they enjoy a very close relationship with someone of whom I am critical. Like the LGBTQ activist I spoke of in another comment: their allegiance to a monster overrides their duty to be honest and to refrain from publicly attacking someone without doing the most minimum of due diligence. I remain stunned and disappointed that this group is either a) carrying personal water for someone pissed off because I have exposed her for who she is and how she and her minions destroy people, b) believes that criticism of how a transgendered person handled their divorce is NEVER allowed simply because of their status, c) any such criticism must be based in bigotry and abuse and seeks to destroy that person because of their status, or d) all of the above.

  19. Isaac Laquedem

    I think the organization in question should be much more concerned about whether someone who facially professes allegiance to their values has been exploiting a transgendered person. It should have been possible for the person that the organization is protecting to be divorced for 1/10 of the cost. The allegation that you’re somehos bigoted against transgendered persons is silly.


    That’s what I don’t understand–why a well-respected advocacy group would not respond to your email. Let’s hypothesize: a largish contributor (in one sense or another) calls a BRO board member and says, “You need to know about the terrible wrong being done to one of my favorite clients–a sweet transgender woman who has been abused by a vicious blogger for no reason other than her gender identity. The blogger–a lawyer–even conspired with the former wife’s lawyer during the trial! She must be stopped. My client has complained to the bar, and the blogger only made fun of her in her response. Something has to be done! Oh, whatever can we do?”

    So, swallowing that story wholesale (for whatever reason–the cult, youth, drugs, laziness), the bar complaint was filed. Oops. But now, having received your email, I do not understand the refusal to talk with you.

    The complaint was filed on behalf of an organization? I wonder how many members of the organization would be in agreement with the decision to refuse to investigate, to refuse to do further due diligence? Intentionally blinding oneself to new information is not the same as mistakenly acting on less than all the facts.

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