Monday, Monday: Can’t Trust that Day

Dear Readers:

If you tune in regularly you may have noticed I almost always publish by 11 a.m. PST. Sticking with this schedule allows me to use the remainder of the day for exercise, writing the book and plotting revenge on those who have hurt me.  I’m still working my way through the insults I suffered in grade school, so if I haven’t gotten to you yet, please be patient.

revenge-a-dish-best-served-cold

Today, given the length and complexity of the question, there is no way I can meet that deadline.  Rather than posting late, I’ve decided to give it the best I’ve got and use it for tomorrow’s blog.  However, I am posting the question today so you all have some time to think about it and perhaps weigh in by leaving a comment.  There’s a lot going on with this woman!

Before I do that, I want to show you all an advertisement I came across the other day from a local divorce firm:

gross

 

Aside from being outstandingly tacky, this ad confuses me.  Is the point that the man in the photo is married and cheating?  Or is it insinuating if you got married too quickly (out of lust – I guess this firm hasn’t heard about the sexual revolution yet) they can help you out with a divorce?

Whatever the point, it’s just gross and confounding.  I yearn for the days when legal advertising had parameters that sought to preclude tasteless material that reflects poorly on the profession.  Damn that first amendment!

What do you think it means?  Please take a moment to weigh in by leaving a comment.  Also, if you are willing to share any first-hand experiences with exceptionally aggressive, negative and napalm-tactic divorce lawyers, please email me so I can document your story for my book.

See you all tomorrow, when we answer Theresa’s question with a few questions of our own!

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Dear Robin:

I have been engaged to Peter for 4 years but have resisted marrying him for several reasons. His family has treated me like crap from the beginning. They hate that I am Catholic (they are Christian Orthodox) and have never told anyone that Peter was divorced. We were invited to his cousin’s wedding in Nov 2010 after we were engaged, and people looked at me like I had two heads because they didn’t know who I was.

We live like we are married and have told his family that we did get married in hopes it would make them accept me and treat me with respect. That didn’t happen. The family still refers to the ex-wife as Aunt Karen, but they won’t call me Aunt Theresa.

Peter wants to go home to celebrate his birthday with his twin sister. I gave him a few conditions that need to be straightened out if I were to consider attending:

1. His mother must stop referring to his ex wife (who they hated) as her daughter in law.
2. I will not see his two older siblings who have actually cursed me out.
3. His twin sister will refer to me in front of her children as Uncle Peter and Aunt Theresa, not Uncle Peter and Theresa.

I’ve been put in too many bad situations over the last five years and I want assurances I won’t face that again. At the father’s funeral, they had posters and slide shows of photos including from Peter’s wedding. Of course there was not a single photo of me.

Besides the issues with his family, whenever Peter gets angry he curses, insults me and preys on my deepest insecurities. The next day he acts like nothing happened. The F word gets thrown around you f-ing whiny little bitch, you dipshit, you pathetic loser, etc. and he has never apologized.

He has asked me to just be quiet when he’s angry and we saw a counselor who agreed and said I should let him rant in his “man cave.” Last night I just did that, but he kept going on and on and on – I sat there watching tv ignoring his little tantrum, until he finally said he doesn’t have sex with me because he’s not into me (Peter has low testosterone, by the way).

Robin, I lost it. I told him he was a bald, fat, ugly limp-dick piece of shit. I told him he destroyed me and that what he said was code for telling me to have an affair.

My son has gone through lots of trauma during my divorce with his father when he was 11 and has one more year at home. He has spent more time with Peter than he has with his own father and Peter treats him like a son. He is finally doing well and I can’t uproot his life when he’s entering his senior year.

I love this man and he is usually good to me but I’m not sure I should marry him. We have talked about getting married in the next few months. What do you think?

-Theresa

This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. echinachea

    Run run run run run run run

    1. ssirish

      You took the words right out of mouth. I was going to say “Run, Theresa, run!”

  2. jeff, friend of Roughout

    “The next day he acts like nothing happened. The F word gets thrown around you f-ing whiny little bitch, you dipshit, you pathetic loser, etc. and he has never apologized.”………………..and you don’t like the way his family treats you? How is it any different than the way he treats you? If you can afford a dump truck, buy one big enough to hold him and his family, load them up, back up to a very high cliff, and hit the “dump” lever. Preferably, the cliff overlooks an deep river populated with alligators and piranhas.

  3. YouCanLeadAHorticulture

    I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree with these winners. These are the people that raised this guy, and he’s a full grown adult, so expecting him to change is very unrealistic. Wouldn’t it be a better example for your son to show him that leaving an unhealthy relationship is preferable to being treated like garbage. Even if your fiancee treats your son well, doesn’t your son witness how he treats you? That can’t be healthy, right?

  4. Amy

    Where to begin??!! I am no hypocrite, and have stayed in shitty relationships for much less then a child, but you don’t have to MARRY him!! I finally know myom told the truth when she said “you don’t just marry him, you marry his family” and my husband’s family SUX! He, however, does not, and of he did, I would not have married him.

  5. Jenny in Olympia

    Robin, I am giddy waiting your response!

  6. Astrid

    NoNoNoNoNO – do not marry this shithead. He is giving you a free preview to the mildest of things to come. For god’s sake, is your son at home hearing this abuse? If so, no matter how “well” Peter treats your son, he is showing an ugly example. Do not forget the environment from whence this gem came, and remember this adage- The best predictor for future behavior is past behavior. Further, if you really think he is a bald, fat, ugly. limp-dick piece of shit, you are settling for shit yourself, and what kind of example are YOU setting for your son? You need to have a heart-to-heart with your boy.

    Peter won’t stand up for (what’s left of the scraps of) your honor with his family…baaaaad sign. Worse yet, he verbally abuses you and insinuates ( as does the failure of a councilor, omg) the abuse is somehow your responsibility or fault.

    Pack your shit and run, Theresa, pack your shit and run. You deserve better, even if you currently believe you don’t. And until you can wrap your brain around that, do it for your son.

  7. LeBirch

    Dear Theresa,

    If your intelligence level permits you to consider marriage as an option to this bald, fat, ugly, limp-dick piece of shit then you might also enjoy these pleasureful activities like the rake jump, Russian road rage, storing a habanero up your dried out lady pocket, gapping your ears to hold a beer can and getting anal fisted by an orangutan.

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