If you aren’t familiar with the “Hamilton” musical, this won’t make a lot of sense to you. Here is a link to the song I have parodied: Hamilton: Cabinet Battle One.
While I plan to post a more detailed blog very soon about what I am hoping to do for the Resistance next year, this morning I awoke with Hamilton on my mind. Here, Archie plays the role of Jefferson and Madison, Margot the role of Hamilton and Jefferson (I know, it’s confusing) and I’ve made Washington both the Announcer and Trump. Stay tuned for exciting updates over the next few days!
For those of you who are new here, Archie is my drunken Chihuahua, and Margot is my little blonde labradoodle, who is not long for this world but fighting to hang in there another day or two.
[Announcer] “Ladies and Gentlemen: You could have been anywhere in the world today but you’re here with us on Robin DesCamp’s blog. Are you ready for a Resistance meeting, huh?
“The issue on the table: DesCamp’s plan to assume a position in DC and establish new national leadership. Secretary Archie: You have the floor.
[Archie] “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness: forefathers fought for these ideals so we shouldn’t settle for less. Her blog’s got good words, enterprising folks quote ‘em, don’t act surprised you guys ‘cause she wrote ‘em.”
[Archie] “Ah, but Donald Trump forgets: he would rather have his big tax cuts increase our deficits. Now, take a guess as to who that benefits? The rich ones he calls ‘friends,’ including Alan Dershowitz.”
[Trump] “Not true!”
[Archie] “Oh, if the shoe fits, wear it. The wealthy want more money: why should us poor folks have to bear it? We got our debts to be paid, I’m afraid, so get off the 90%, and stop fucking up trade.
“Their tax bill is unsound, calculate! They just want to move our money around. This ‘financial plan’ belongs in a bedpan, and its pages were written by a tanned gland with an armband.
“Stand with me, the future I can foresee, pray to God we don’t see that fool’s further candidacy. Look: when he tried to steal our healthcare we got frisky, imagine what gone happen if he tries something more risky.”
[Announcer] “Thank you, Secretary Archie.”
[Archie] “That’s my alcohol!”
[Announcer] “Secretary Margot, your response.”
[Margot] “Archie: that was a real nice declaration. Welcome to the present: he is poisoning our nation. Do you think Robin should join us, or stay mellow as we fight against the POTUS who is such a punchinello?
“If she takes this bet the union gets a new gal to credit: how can anyone not get get it? If she’s aggressive and competitive the union gets a boost and maybe Trump will take a sedative.
“Maybe I can do her a favor, make her my neighbor, I’ll pay her rent if I don’t pay her for labor. She’ll help plant seeds in these grounds, we’ll stop ranting, cause ranting never did more than planting.
“And another thing, social security’s not “entitlements!” They lecture down to the poor, and tell them their belts, they gotta tighten ‘em. They think we’re frightened of that man, who put a drunk on the bench, and can’t for 20 minutes stop insulting the French!
“Robin, don’t be hesitant with the president, or reticent, there ain’t a good plan he doesn’t jettison! That mother-fucker’s mad as a hatter, don’t take no medicine, damn he’s in worse shape than Jersey’s fat Chris Christy’s in!
“She won’t be sitting there useless as two shits, she’ll come to DC and we’ll show her where her voice fits.”
[Trump] “Excuse me? Archie, Margot take a walk. Robin, take a walk. We’ll reconvene after a brief recess. Robin?”
[Trump] “A word.”
[Archie] “She’ll help win the votes! She’ll help win the votes!”
[Archie] “She’s gonna work so hard for his removal and she’ll help win the votes!”
[Margot] “He’s such a blunder, he’s torn this land asunder, while our treasury he plunders.”
[Archie] “While our treasury he plunders…”
[Trump, concerned about his hair] “Do you think we’ll get some weather?”
[Robin] “Sorry Trump, but a man’s hair should not be feathered.”
[Trump] “I like my hair feathered, so watch your mouth!”
[Robin] “Because of you, our country’s being held hostage by the South.”
[Trump] “I got the votes!”
[Robin] “Well, I’ll get more folks. I have this plan…”
[Trump] “Conspiracy with Russia is a hoax.”
[Robin] “Well Melania won’t talk to you, she tells me you’re a farter.”
[Trump] “Ah, buying her was easy, that woman, marriage is harder.”
[Robin] “You’re always intransigent!”
[Trump] “I never compromise.”
[Robin] “You don’t have a plan, you just tweet and whine!”
[Trump] “I never said I was wise.”
[Robin] “And what happens if I can get congressional approval?”
[Trump] “Well, I guess you’ll work on my removal.
“Figure it out Robin.
“That’s an order from a man whose mushroom’s throbbin’.