Friday Feedback: Angering Readers and Making Friends!

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Welcome to Friday Feedback, our weekly piercing of the corporate veil to assess my personal liability for dangerous and thoughtless advice delivered via strangled and offensive prose.  Grab your coffee, tuck into a muffin and let’s light this candle, shall we?

Robin:

How could you possibly tell that woman she did nothing wrong when she slept with her boss?  I thought you were a feminist so shouldn’t that anger you?  Women like her who act slutty at work set the rest of us way back.  Please re-think your answer. -S.A.

Dear S.A.:

Thank you for reading I Got Drunk and Slept with the Boss.  It used to have a slightly different title but I’m making an effort to reduce my use of vulgarity in order to secure my television deal with Disney, the working title of which is “Robin Rules.”

It’s going to be akin to a “Judge Judy” type show, except the litigants will be children and the damages I can assess against the losers will include lashes with a belt, forced labor and time spent with their family without electronics.  Rather than sporting a Judge Judy neck doily and a 1950’s hairstyle, I plan to look more like this:

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But I digress.  Back to you.

Just because I consider myself a post-modern feminist warrior (get it right, please), that doesn’t mean I think it is “wrong” to get drunk and sleep with your boss, unless you do it for the express purpose of extortion or to gain an advantage at work.

Before you howl that I am a hypocrite, my advice to her regarding using this mistake to her advantage was rendered because she did not plan in advance to have sex with the boss and blackmail him, but she was now in a pretty awful spot and I have no problem with her using his extremely poor judgment to move away from him and into another department.

Perhaps this is a lexicon thing.  When I think of the word “wrong,” I think of someone doing something with the express knowledge and dismissal of the fact it will hurt someone else.  That’s why shoplifting is “wrong,” because when you steal a dress from Target you jack up the cost of my smokes and Yellow Tail Pinot Gris.

Having too much to drink and banging the boss once isn’t wrong or slutty, it’s just a stupid mistake which neither defines nor impacts women in the workforce.  It’s interesting to me your comment did not address the boss’ behavior.

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I appreciate your letter so please continue to read and provide feedback! -Robin

Dear Robin:

My best friend sent me your blog on the woman who stole painkillers from her friend. She did that because she and I went through the same thing four years ago when I caught her stealing my husband’s painkillers.  He had spinal surgery with complications and really needed that medication, but she took it anyway.  For a long time, I accused him of miscounting the pills and taking too many, until I finally put it all together and realized it was my best friend.

You can’t imagine how hurt I was and my first thought was never to speak to her again.  My husband and I agreed to work with her husband to arrange an intervention, and after a year of rehab and intense therapy she was able to kick the habit.  She is now a drug counselor and doing very well and our friendship is stronger than ever.

Thank you for addressing such an important topic in a thoughtful yet sort of funny way.  I found your advice to be spot-on and you have a new fan in Texas. -T.K.

Dear T.K.:

I joke a lot about why I am doing this blog (fame and fortune, I don’t really care about anyone’s problems) but your response to Painkillers meant more to me than I can adequately describe here.

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I’m so happy your friend got the help she needed and is now helping others who suffer from this addiction.  Thank you for your letter and your readership! -Robin

Robin:

Did you really think it was ok to joke about suicide?  What’s wrong with you?  Didn’t your “dead baby” incident that chased you off Twitter teach you anything?  Worse than the jokes, you actually encouraged this man’s cousin to kill himself and other people too.  I honestly couldn’t believe what I was reading.

Life is a gift from God and must not be squandered by suicide or the person killing themselves risks their eternal salvation. Read 1 Corinthians 3:17 “If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.”

These are serious topics you have no business writing on. -Anonymous

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Dear Anonymous:

While it saddens me you did not enjoy my advice on Suicidal Cousin, I do appreciate your patronage and I’ve given some thought to your comments.

In regards to the “dead baby incident” on twitter, I have two thoughts:

1. I was not chased off Twitter, I chose to limit my involvement to posting my blog and nothing else.  Twitter is a stinking cesspool swirling with frustration, anger, insecurity and jealousy – a sewage pipe running underneath the information superhighway where the lonely, powerless and profoundly stupid congregate and salivate in anticipation of each day’s opportunity to find someone who offends and then to attack the offender with unforgivably poor grammar and spelling.

2. “Dead Baby Incident” would be a great name for a band.

While I appreciate your use of biblical language, I had to chuckle because my perusal of Twitter was, along with the rise of the Kardashian empire and the ongoing conflict in the Middle East, the final proof I needed that there is no God.

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Speaking of God and your assertion that suicide leads to a blackball from Heaven, the Bible claims that at the moment of salvation a believer’s sins are given a pass (John 3:16; 10:28). When one becomes a “child of God,” all sins, even those committed after salvation, are no longer held against them.

Allegedly.  I mean, come on – that deal sounds a little too good to be true.

Ephesians 2:8 says, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” My reading of that little number is that a believer is saved by God’s grace, not by their own good behavior. In the same way, it would seem a believer’s sins would not preclude him from the big keg party in the sky.

Paul rapped to us in Romans 8:38-39 that nothing can separate a believer from God’s love:

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

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My limited research tells me there is only one sin that can separate us from God and send a person to hell: refusing to accept Christ as Lord and Savior. Anyone who turns to Jesus for forgiveness is made righteous by his blood (Romans 5:9) which covers all sins committed by a believer—past, present and future.

Including suicide.

So there.

-Robin

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Meg

    Robin, the single most compelling argument I’ve ever heard against suicide is this: Other people need us here. Jennifer Michael Hecht spoke with Krista Tippett about this several months ago, and I found their conversation compelling. http://www.onbeing.org/program/jennifer-michael-hecht-hope-for-our-future-selves/20140327

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