Welcome to Friday Feedback, our weekly journey into the hell that is other people and their opinions of me – unless their opinions are positive, in which case it’s heaven! Except I don’t believe in heaven.
Damn it. Some days you just can’t win.
I was very moved by your posting about the man whose wife was obsessed with spending time online. My ex-husband was the same way for over five years, and I finally did something similar to what you did and confronted him and insisted on counseling. He participated in counseling but nothing changed and I left him. I was sick and tired of being in a marriage of one.
I’m now dating a wonderful man who cherishes our time together. When we go out he leaves his phone in the car, and he is only on the computer for work when I stay at his house. Finally, I’m experiencing a symbiotic and engaging relationship. Thanks for the read and when is your radio show???
Thank you for reading: Computer Obsession. I’m happy it spoke to you and even happier you have found a satisfying and joyous relationship in which your man’s fingers are intertwined with yours (or wherever) rather than wrapped around a mouse.
Since I wrote that blog I have heard from dozens of people on this subject and I have to say it’s a very pressing issue for the modern marriage/relationship. Now if I could just figure out how to cash in on everyone’s internet-related misery…
As for the show, please stay tuned! These things don’t happen overnight but I am confident I will have a program within a year. No, I don’t mean a 12-step program.
I was several blog postings behind and just got caught up this morning. Some kudos:
1. You column often make me laugh….boisterously at times.
2. You make me think about serious things in new ways.
3. Where do you get those great illustrations? “Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol” – I know, you get them from the web, but how do you find appropriate ones so expediently? They really liven up your pieces.
4. Really liked your thoughtful response to “open marriage”; laughed hard at the one on the dick who drives too fast; ”my girlfriend has a past” – I had a relationship with a woman somewhat like that when I was single, run away – run fast….and if I was ever divorced again, I KNOW I’d never remarry a 3rd time. Some things in life are a sign you need to give up on something. The black knight reference in that one was classic.
5. Column idea – you always ask for follow up on your advice. Do you get it? Car Talk had this classic segment called “Stump the Chumps” where they would revisit someone who they gave advice to in the past. You surely must have some wonderful follow-ups to some of your advice by now….make that a semi-regular feature.
1. Thank you!
2. Thank you!
3. I use google for whatever point I am trying to make. For example, this morning I typed in “some days you can’t win” and got the gif of the unfortunate dog for today’s blog.
4. Thank you again!
5. I often use the follow-up in comments, but I agree I’d like to do regular follow ups with people. Good idea!
Readers, in closing I’d like to share a story with everyone before I make my usual plea for sharing the blog, signing up via email (there is a link on the top right of the page) and a new one begging for those SEO-knowledgeable readers to donate some help to a fledgling star.
I need to grow the blog and seek advertisers or Mr. Patience and Understanding may start to lose those two fine qualities and thus his snappy moniker. I promise to pay you back big time when I make my fortune.*
One year ago when I was working for the worst company in America (don’t just take my word for it – go to www.glassdoor.com and search “Holiday Retirement reviews) I finally caved in and sought help from an eye doctor because I needed minor correction lenses for driving. If you live in the Portland area, I cannot recommend this man highly enough: his name is Dr. Eric Freedle and he is at the Tigard Optometric Clinic. Thanks to my uncle Paul Vermilya for the awesome referral!
Doctor Freedle got me all set up but recently my glasses were stolen from the parking lot of my golf club. That’s a rant for another day. Anyway, I finally got back in to see him and while we were chatting and he was assuring me I am not going blind (apparently, I’m just old) he asked me:
“So, are you still practicing law?”
I said no and told him about my new “career,” also known as mouthing off without getting paid. Then he said something that really stunned me:
“I could tell you probably weren’t practicing anymore. You seem like a much happier person now than a year ago. Back then you seemed to be wound very tight – now you are relaxed and look happier and not at all stressed like you were a year ago.”
I’m telling you this story because although I have yet to fully realize my dreams, just the effort I am making towards changing my career from one I did not like to one I love has already fundamentally changed who I am and the impression I make on those around me. While I know I am a much happier person, I wasn’t aware how obvious it was to others – even a doctor I have met only once and had not seen for a year.
For those of you laboring in a field that brings you nothing but a paycheck, you might consider identifying a dream and then chasing it like Mark Sanford chases Argentinian ‘tang.
Have a wonderful weekend. I will be celebrating my 6th anniversary with Mr. Patience and Understanding at an undisclosed location and will be back Monday morning. Remember, if you can help me with SEO in exchange for a future reward, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. The same goes for your questions!
*Just so there is no confusion, “pay you back big time” means I’ll allow you to be photographed with me and I’ll even sign the picture!