Welcome to Friday Feedback, our weekly endoscopy of this blog’s throat to ascertain the presence of tumors, be they malignant or benign.
This week I was taken to task for my absence by a very enthusiastic reader I’ll call “Phil” (because that’s the name he gave me):
“Robin, where have you been lately? I feel like you are slacking off. You used to post every weekday and now it’s spotty plus last week you were basically MIA. Come on girl, don’t lose your steam or you won’t get that radio show! I love your wit so don’t disappear on your fans.”
The snarky bitch in me wants to whine and complain to Phil and ask him how many words he writes on a weekly basis, because I’ve totaled up my word count since starting this Great Experiment and it equals roughly 4 average American novels (or 1/2 of a Russian novel).
However, Phil’s email warms my cold little cockles because it means people care whether or not I post every day. I like to think that means I’m doing something right. Then again, maybe my popularity is based upon those who love to hate me.
Regardless, Phil, I am doing my best but I am under deadline to finish my book by June 21.
How to Get Divorced Without Losing Your Kids, Your Money and Your Mind: a Holistic and Practical Guide to Marital Dissolution and Family Reorganization is going to be unlike any other book you’ve seen on the subject: funny, informative, replete with true stories that will horrify and inspire you, and filled with the secrets divorce lawyers won’t tell you.
I’ve finished 3 chapters but there are 7 more to go so please be patient with me. And thank you for loving me so!
In response to Don’t Introduce Your Ho to My Babies (in which a woman doesn’t want her kids hanging out with her ex-husband’s new Penile Parking Spot) I received this from P.A. in the O.C.:
“I have really been struggling with this exact subject. When do you think it’s appropriate to introduce your kids to your new boyfriend/girlfriend? I’ve been dating a man for 3 months and I’m just not sure! When did you introduce your kids to Mr. Patience and Understanding?”
P.A., you must not be a regular reader because if you were you’d know I only have one child (unless you count The Canary in a Coal Mine, otherwise known as the Original, otherwise known as my son’s father).
To answer your question, I introduced Jake to Mr. Patience and Understanding when I knew the relationship was exclusive and serious. We fell in love very quickly so I’d guess it was a few weeks, maybe less, but I waited until I was sure Mr. P.U. was someone I thought would be in our lives for a long time.
My advice is when you think you feel that way about your new man, introduce him to the kids and be sure to do it by telling them,
“This is your new daddy. He’s better looking and smarter than your old daddy plus your old daddy doesn’t love you anymore. Call him ‘Daddy’ and call your old daddy ‘asshole’ from now on.”
Lastly, alert reader TP wrote the following comment on my Facebook page after reading Long-time Friend Struggling with Troubled Husband in which a woman’s husband had recently gone through a major depressive episode along with alcohol rehab:
“Good advice, except for the invitation for a glass of wine. Having worked with a lot of people dealing with addiction issues, spouses are pretty sensitive and there are quite a few who commit to sobriety in support of their spouse. Maybe pie and coffee would be a better offer.”
To which I replied:
“Did you not see the note at the bottom?” because I had inserted an asterisk with a footnote regarding sarcasm after my command that wine be consumed at their meeting.
To which TP responded:
“Nope, totally didn’t see it. And I’m not a hate mail writer, I promise! I meant it as constructive bc I am always sticking my own foot in my mouth, clearly.”
That was funny. Thanks for keeping me on my toes, TP!
Deadlines are looming so I have to run. Before I do so I will once again engage in the shameless begging that has become the norm here:
PLEASE SEND ME VODKA!
Happy Friday to all of you!