Friday Feedback!


Welcome to Friday Feedback, our weekly reader-provided-and-inserted enema that seeks to clean out the bowels of this blog.  First up, someone who questioned my advice in the very well received golocalpdx weekly column: Concerned About my Friend’s Weight Gain.


I don’t agree with you.  I gained 50 pounds after my divorce and it took me a year to lose the weight.  I hated being fat and I think if someone had pulled me aside and in a kind way encouraged me to lose weight after the first 10 or 15 pounds, it might have woken me up and motivated me to stop gaining and start losing.

Losing the 50 I lost was really hard and I often found myself depressed and not at all interested in dating.  I feel great now and what a coincidence I met someone and we really like each other!

Take another look from my perspective and consider the other side.  I don’t think her friend is jealous, I think she’s looking out for her!


Dear Cathy:

First, I’d like to congratulate you on your weight loss journey.  Losing 50 pounds is incredibly tough and I admire you for doing it.

Thank you for your perspective on this question.  Your comments on how beneficial this type of early intervention could have been for you are intriguing and appreciated. I suspect this largely comes down to who is doing the talking and who is doing the listening in this type of scenario.

My perception is the talker was not coming from a loving place but rather a very superficial one, and that the listener was not concerned about her weight and therefore probably would have been deeply offended and hurt.

However, as Oscar Wilde once noted, “the truth is pure, but never simple.”  You and I are probably both correct.  Unfortunately, since this is my blog, I am more correct than you.  Please go sit in the corner.

Dear Robin:

That brother you wrote about with the gifts?  That’s my brother!  Hilarious and spot-on advice as always.  I emailed your blog to my sisters and my parents and we all agreed that this year we won’t be sending a damn thing to our version of “That Guy.” Thank you!


Dear Cam:

I received a tremendous amount of feedback on Rude Brother Doesn’t Acknowledge Gifts.  Thank you for your kind words.  Now you should consider sending the blog to your brother!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I must sign off because I have an enormously busy day ahead of me and I’m already behind.  Please email your questions to me at and have a great weekend.  Go Blazers and go Ducks!