I’m loving how this blog has fallen into a pattern: advice Monday through Thursday, feedback (hate mail) on Friday and the Sunday Rant. What has also been a recurring theme is polling the readers on Saturday for the Sunday Rant topic. This is great for three reasons:
1. My readers have the chance to experience what it feels like when their vote truly counts for a change. Let’s face it, that isn’t happening anywhere else. I voted for Obama because I didn’t want any more senseless killing in foreign countries, and that shit has been stepped up in the form of pussy drone attacks. Damn you, Barack. I so wanted to love you, but maybe that was my white guilt talking.
2. It gives me a light writing day so I can focus on other things like my hangover and taking care of my kid for once. Where is he, anyway…?
3. I already forgot the third point. Fucking hangover.
OK, here are your choices for tomorrow’s rant. If you have other suggestions, please email them to me at email@example.com. No, Dad, I am not going to write about the “Baby on Board” stickers. Those are obnoxious and stupid and relevant about, oh, 25 years ago. Stop asking (5 times already!) and consider a visit to a neurologist.
As usual, here is my weekly plea for help: please share the blog with anyone you know who has a high threshold for being offended by what they read. I am writing a guest blog next week on a site that gets 15,000 hits PER MUTHAFUCKIN DAY (more on that Monday) and I feel a momentum surge happening.
Anything you can do to help will be much appreciated and rewarded when my ship comes in. I will let you come to the pier and wave at me on my ship, and then I’ll throw some autographed singles down to you as the boat pulls away and heads for Hawaii. Can’t you just picture it?
Things are happening, children, I can feel it. I always knew I had something great in me, but when I gave birth to Jake I thought that was it. Turns out there’s something else in there!
Gotta go, suddenly I have to use the potty. Cheers and enjoy the day. And GO DUCKS!