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Anatomy of a Disaster: Here We Go Again!

Yesterday I became the proud recipient of my third bar complaint from an unhappy reader.  Feel free to send me congratulatory gifts!

Bar Complaint #1 was immediately rejected and they told the complainant that they could not discipline me for making an online comment that her expensive vacations and labor-free existence might be evidence of the need for alimony reform.

In other words, I was not required to respond.

Bar Complaint #2 was of course Dotson v. DesCamp, which I answered with my tongue firmly placed in my cheek and my middle fingers extended.  If you haven’t read that, you are missing out.  

Bar Complaint #3 is a seven page single-spaced paranoiac diatribe, stamped “Draft” and ending abruptly without closing or a signature of any kind, against me filed by Samantha.  

You remember Samantha, right?

Samantha is one of the stars of my first blog series, “Anatomy of a Disaster.”  In case you are new here, read the series and catch up.

ANATOMY OF A DISASTER

1. Cast of Characters

2. Sarah’s Story

3. Let’s Get Something Straight

4. The Box, the Lies, and the Unraveling

5. We Interrupt this Program for an Announcement!

6. The Vacation from Hell

Details of the Bar Complaint

Samantha has accused me of the following:

  • conspiring with Sarah to further her estrangement from her children
  • being employed by Sarah’s lawyer
  • trying to contact her 
  • extortion 
  • defamation
  • saying mean things about a judge, lawyers, and “experts”
  • attributing comments posted on the blog to her (I would like to state unequivocally I do not know the identity of commenters unless they use their real name and I may very well have been mistaken when I assumed some came from Samantha.  My apologies)
  • making false statements about her separation from her employer 
  • being appalling (which I think was a typo meant to read “appealing”) and disgusting
  • inviting her to coffee, which frightened her and made her fear for her physical safety
  • ridiculing, denigrating, mocking, and harassing her based upon her status as a transgendered person.

That last one really pissed me off.  Samantha is one of those people who believes her status gives her the right to be an asshole, and if anyone points out she is kind of being an asshole, she accuses them of hating transgendered people.

It’s such bullshit.  I make jokes about and have offended every group on the planet.  I hope she never watches comedy of any kind because she may have a massive attack of the “sensitives” and will have to begin writing seven-page complaints to the talent.

I take umbrage at that last accusation even more than the most serious one of extortion, which is of course a biggie.  In a public document, Samantha has falsely accused me of a crime.  And yet I am the one harming her reputation, via pseudonyms?

Samantha constantly accuses me of “outing her” despite that I don’t use her name, then files a bar complaint with her own name in which she publicly puts forth many of the facts of her case she claims to want kept private.

Huh.  Interesting approach.  Logical fail, but interesting.

The complaint appears to have been ghost-written, which isn’t surprising. You may not believe it, but her lawyers don’t like me.

I believe I’ve been very even-handed. I have offered to let Samantha give her version of events and for some reason that both pissed her off and frightened her.

Because I find the bar complaint so intimidating, I have decided to cancel the series.

CFYUjAfWgAABoNF

(Just kidding.  If you don’t get the photo reference, see the movie “Airplane” post-haste.)

Yesterday I was angry about the complaint, because it’s going to be a time-suck. As much fun as writing Dotson v. DesCamp was, it took many hours that should have been spent on other matters.  Today I am simply amused.

I could answer this complaint extremely succinctly, because the bar has asked me only to to address two rules as they relate to the accusations rather than each of the allegations.  

Since Samantha is wrong and her own exhibits either prove she’s wrong or provide no evidence of ethical violations, this could be really easy.

I could write it in less than a page and spend less than an hour on it. 

I could make it serious and professional and abandon all opportunities to exhibit my comedic talents and point out publicly why paying double the legal fees of your ex-spouse might hint at billing irregularities by your firm.

It’s possible.  

Anything is possible.

Who am I kidding?  Let’s have some fun, shall we?

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PS: While you will read my response here after it’s drafted, I will not be using Samantha’s real name.  I refuse to give her that satisfaction.

This Post Has 24 Comments

  1. CMM

    Why are you giving Samantha the courtesy of not naming her when she put all that stuff in a bar complaint against you? Are you going soft on us?

    1. Robin DesCamp

      I’m running late so I am copy/pasting a comment I wrote on yesterday’s blog:

      I’m not naming her because I think she wants me to and I won’t give her the satisfaction and ability to further wave her victim flag.

      I’m not naming her because I stated at the beginning I would use pseudonyms for this series and being annoyed at Samantha for her bar complaint theatrics isn’t going to change that promise.

      Hire an attorney? LOL – no. Did you not see my epic response to Dotson? I would never hire an attorney to respond to this complaint. Unlike some attorneys who hire the tall and lovely Steve E. when they face bar complaints, I have no doubt I can resolve this under my own brain power.

      I agree Samantha must be missing her kids terribly. Who wouldn’t? I think about my own son and how much I need him in my life and this situation makes me very sad. I believe it will get better and someday if Samantha changes her approach and her attitude her kids will have a relationship with her. I could be wrong but I certainly hope I am not.

      My advice to Samantha is very simple. I wonder what would happen if she took it? It goes like this:
      Write a letter (not email or text) to your kids. Tell them you are sorry about the Vacation from Hell and that you love them and will always love them. Admit you may have been selfish in the past but part of that was likely driven by your inability to live an authentic life for so many years. The clincher? Ask your children in that letter what they need from you to further your reunification goals.

      I’ve seen a lot of litigation and forced therapy in this case but what I haven’t seen (although it may exist, mind you) is Samantha asking the kids what they need from her, rather than the other way around (her repeated demands that they do what she needs).

      Samantha, if you are reading this, drop your anger towards me and consider for five seconds that I could be right. Try it. See if you get a positive reaction. If you do, will you then start to believe that I actually am rooting for everyone in your family, including you?

  2. M

    Hmmm I find the fact that “she” wants to remain private however files a public complaint comical…sad that she needs the spotlight on her so much!!!!

    1. Robin DesCamp

      No shit.

      Samantha published WAY more personal information in that complaint than I ever have with my pseudonyms. I googled her name and mine today: nothing. I googled her name and “Anatomy of a Disaster: nothing. I googled her name along with those of her near-dozen attorneys. Nothing.

      This is the most shocking case of Stockholm Syndrome combined with the Streisand Effect that I have ever seen.

      I am of the opinion she has not only been used by her attorneys for the obvious (astronomical fees) but now she is being used as a weapon against me. While I have no issues with the firm fighting back against me because they disagree with what I write (and they most assuredly have done so behind the scenes here in Portland) I do think they should fight their own battles, in the open, without a proxy.

      Using other people to attack me and try to get me put on double-secret probation with the Oregon State Bar like Laurel Hook is a pussy move.

      Oops! Sorry, I forgot about my recent decision regarding female genitalia as insults:

      Using other people to fight your battles is a Trumpy Trump move. So is using your connections to thwart my career. I mean, come on. Come on out from behind the shadows and go toe to toe with me, you Donald-y Trumpers.

      If I am the bad guy, why is my email inbox stuffed to groaning with messages from your victims?

  3. Curious Cat

    So those of us reading this, who don’t have a clue who the story is about, can find out now? Isn’t that JUST what the dad didn’t want to happen? How do I contact the bar?

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Please do not do that. If you are truly a fan of the blog and believe in my fight to create a more transparent and accountable system, you will leave that alone. In fact, your comment prompted me to ask the bar to sanitize the complaint should anyone request it. I do not know if they will honor that but I hope they do. I have to assume that if I am OK with it and so is the complainant, the names of the divorcing parties and their kids can be scrubbed from the complaint. You gain nothing knowing the names of these people – the story is what is compelling, not the consonants and vowels on their driver’s licenses.

      This is so very much the LAST thing I wanted to happen.

  4. Bob M

    Did you read all of the complaints on Yelp about their firm? Dating back YEARS!

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Yes. And there are some glowing ones as well. I especially like the ones that go into detail on all the non-legal work their attorneys did for them such as arranging child care, social events, food, and jobs. Now THAT’s full-service! Of course, if one was paying an attorney rate for work that Archie could do on his drunkest day, that would be a damn shame. That’s not to mention the cult-y aspect of having your lawyer come in and take over every aspect of your life. Why do that? To make a client totally dependent upon you and less likely to question your actions. IN MY OPINION.

  5. ShortGame

    It seems that Sam/Samantha can’t help him/her self. If the spotlight isn’t on him/her, he/she will make sure it is, no matter who it hurts or what it takes (including more billable hours). I believe this is his/her sole purpose/focus and doesn’t care who it effects. If he/she truly loves the children, he/she will stop trying to force the reconciliation.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      I agree forcing reconciliation is the wrong approach because I just don’t think it will work. But Samantha should never give up on the kids or a future relationship with them. She may not be conducting herself in a way that promotes repairing the relationship but that could change at any time. People change. People evolve. People learn from their mistakes and grow. They admit they were wrong and they embrace personal responsibility.

      Well, some people.

      My experience is the most happy and well-adjusted people go through a mid-life metamorphosis that teaches them they are NOT the center of the universe and that they must accept who they are and what they have done in the past in order to have a happy future.

      I know this from personal experience. My life used to be about finger-pointing and blaming others for my unhappy career and social life. Once I took a hard look in the mirror and admitted nearly all of my problems were of my own making, my life took a dramatic change for the better.

      I honestly don’t know how I lived in that mindset for so long. I wouldn’t go back for a moment, even if assuming that old paradigm came with a less-wrinkled visage.

  6. Curious

    Why did Samantha’s job end? You said she accused you of writing about the specifics of her employment situation but I went back and re-read everything and I don’t see where you did that. Was she fired or did she quit or what?

    1. Robin DesCamp

      I have no idea what the circumstances were surrounding Samantha’s job and how, when, or why it ended. All I know is that she is no longer employed by the employer she worked with when the divorce was filed. I plan to review everything I wrote about this case tomorrow to confirm the following statement: I do not believe I ever said ANYTHING about it except that she no longer works for that company. I have not mentioned the name of the corporation. I say these things with confidence because I truly do not know anything about her employment there. I was frankly shocked that she raised this allegation and will address it in my bar response.

      1. Robin DesCamp

        OK I see now what her issue was. I made the incorrect assumption she might be suing her former employer and I left a comment a while back voicing that incorrect belief. While that is not defamation, I only know now it was incorrect because her bar complaint made reference to a “Separation Agreement” with her former employer. Separation agreements do not come without a covenant not to sue, so clearly I was wrong (depending, I guess, on the date that Separation Agreement was signed).

        I deleted that portion of the comment today. Your blogger regrets the error, but reminds the readers 1) the error does not constitute an ethical violation, and 2) the error does not constitute defamation. Unlike Samantha, I have not revealed her identity.

  7. Old neighbor

    If only Samantha spent half the time looking for a job as she did on that complaint and all the other drama scenes she is creating! I’ve never been so disappointed in someone I once thought was a good provider for his family and husband to his wife. It’s one thing to decide to transition, it is completely another to transition and take the path of becoming a ruthless, mean, self centered and drama queen. When will the madness end???

  8. NYC

    How quickly do you expect to respond to Samantha’s complaint? How many hours a week are you spending on this blog: writing, editing, researching, finding funny pics, etc? I feel I owe you bottle service for the hours of entertainment you’ve provided me.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      I need time to respond and in case you haven’t noticed, I have an empire to create here. There are some very serious allegations in the complaint. Here’s a snippet:

      “As of March 2016, I have not been able to exercise parenting time with my
      children in over of 20 months for no other reason than the fact that Sarah has
      chosen to actively alienate my children from me due to my transgender status.
      Through Ms. DesCamp’s involvement in this case, and in the pursuit of her own
      personal interests, Ms. DesCamp has recklessly acted with complete disregard
      to the court’s direction and the best interests of my family by assisting Sarah
      in further impairing my ability to reunite with my children.”

      And that’s just the opening salvo of a very long and poorly-written finger-point.

      Something struck me as interesting this morning: Samantha has labeled me as a despicable and disgusting evil person, simply because I have given a voice to Sarah and written some very even-handed things about her divorce without using her name. I continue to support Samantha’s reunification with her kids but in a different manner than she is now pursuing. Despite some of the actions she has taken, including this ridiculous bar complaint she wrote with her lawyers (in my opinion, I do not know that as a fact), I would never label her in such a way.

      Just food for thought. I haven’t quite woken up yet today.

  9. Oprah is my Homegirl

    Who the fuck do you think you are, Ms DeCamps??!? Inviting someone to (gasp) COFFEE?!? What sort of barbarian are you? And how the hell does Samantha expect anonymity after filing a public complaint about you? She is truly delusional, narcissistic and an attention whore.

  10. SMV

    I have known Sarah since we were in Grade School together. I have witnessed this entire marriage and nasty divorce, first-hand. I can say, without a doubt, that Sarah has not and is not blocking the children from seeing their dad. Period. And to say it is happening because she is transgender is disingenuous. Their dad has lied. To them, to their mother, to the court, to their friends, to her family and mostly to herself. So much so, that she has begun to believe her own lies. The children have been forced to listen to the horrible lies he has told about their mother. They know their father tells anyone and everyone that their mother is preventing them from seeing her. The have told their dad, their mom, the judge, their attorney, all four of the therapists they have seen over the years that THEY DO NOT WANT TO SEE THEIR DAD BECAUSE SHE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON, NOT BECAUSE SHE IS TRANSGENDER! She lies, manipulates, cries, controls, tricks and forces her will on everyone around her. Her own family will tell you this. They want nothing to do with the drama that is Samantha.

    The amount of money Samantha has spent so far (in excess of $140,000) and forced Sarah to spend ($80,000+) is a disgrace. The children know that is money that could have and should have been spent on their education! When will it stop? Another filing by Samantha, forcing Sarah to hire another attorney at $400 an hour could cost her her house! But does this even slow Samantha down?

    Samantha, or anyone that knows her that is reading this, please tell her to stop. Beg her to stop. It didn’t (and doesn’t) need to be this way. Trying to force your children to accept you and respect you is not going to work. You are pushing them further and further away. Just STOP it! Give them space to process and heal and maybe they will reach out to you. But continuing to drag their mother through the courts is not working and will not bring them back to you.

    1. Nicole

      BINGO!!!! Forcing anyone into anything, whether it be litigation, reunification, etc. will not and is not doing you any favors, Samantha. All your children needed was time – that’s it. It is at your hands alone that you are creating irreperable damage to the relationship with your children. Listen to them and grow up. your eldest is almost an adult!

      99% of people who truly know Sam/Samantha will not “drink the cool-aid” she is serving but, boy is she good at convincing that 1%. This may very well cost the family that she claim/ed to care about and love everything.

      It is pretty telling her children, at their ages, do not want to see her. Its complete bullshit that she’s serving to everyone who will listen. She smears Sarah’s name at every chance she gets. I have witnessed it on multiple occasions. Her children have witnessed it, and know she is full of shit. But lets keep this shit show going because that’s whats best for everyone (eye roll). Infuriating.

      1. Robin DesCamp

        Of course now she can claim there is a conspiracy against her, because Sarah is using me to alienate her children. Also, she claims I am using Sarah to hurt her lawyers. Oh yeah, she also claims Sarah’s lawyer is using me to destroy her. In other words, all of these people are working against her in concert, knowingly or otherwise.

        How she can blame me for alienation from her children when I have never met them, they do not know about or read the blog (even though she hinted at it to her son, believe it or not!), and the blog debuted only about a month ago, is beyond understanding. It shows a willful denial of reality that is as unparalleled as I’ve seen since Trump called himself a “uniter” and the founder of the firm bragged about her charitable contributions.

  11. Isaac Laquedem

    If Samantha believes that it’s better for her and Sarah to spend $200,000 on lawyers instead of on their children’s college education, there’s likely nothing that Samantha’s friends can say to dissuade her.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Issac, I agree except I’ll reiterate my earlier point: people can and do evolve. I have received countless communications from people who were formerly represented by file-churning DICKs. A good deal of them were all for the war while it was happening, but later came to the realization how destructive it was to them and to their family. You would think the majority of people who contact me are complaining about a DICK on the other side of a divorce. The opposite is usually true: they hired the DICK, lost all their money to the DICK, and at some point woke up and realized they were terribly abused by the DICK.

      Samantha may be histrionic and have a tenuous relationship with reality right now, but she is quite obviously very smart. You don’t rise to the level she did in the business world without having brains. I think she may be one of those people who realizes later that her attorneys were using her. A commenter who identified as a former employee left a very specific and disturbing comment some time ago about the lawyers mocking Samantha when she wasn’t around. I wonder: if Samantha saw undeniable proof of this alleged incident, would she begin to change her mindset?

      If not, the Stockholm Syndrome is likely permanent and the litigation will NEVER end.

      1. FLAATTY

        I am lawyer in Pensacola. I HAD a friend I thought was being taken advantage of in a very serious way by her attorney. I watched as the husband tried to settle the case on amicable terms and the wife would start to sway in that direction until her lawyers pulled on her leash hard and got her back into fighting mode.

        After 18 months the case still has not resolved but they are nearly broke. She has spent almost $150,000 in attorney fees and her husband has spent nearly $90,000.

        Being a regular reader of yours I decided to challenge my friend and see if I could help her find her way to a resolution so this could be over. I asked her to bring six months of bills to my office and we went over them together.

        Are you sure these DICKs don’t have an office in Pensacola? I ask because some of the specific “tricks” you’ve written about were all over these bills. I pointed out to her over $20,000 in hinky billing in the cursory review we did together. I urged her to consider that her attorneys were milking the case for money, not for her own good or that of her kids.

        She was furious and walked out. That’s why I started this comment with “I HAD a friend.” She hasn’t spoken to me since.

        Not everyone can see the light. It makes me sad.

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