Yesterday I became the proud recipient of my third bar complaint from an unhappy reader. Feel free to send me congratulatory gifts!
Bar Complaint #1 was immediately rejected and they told the complainant that they could not discipline me for making an online comment that her expensive vacations and labor-free existence might be evidence of the need for alimony reform.
In other words, I was not required to respond.
Bar Complaint #3 is a seven page single-spaced paranoiac diatribe, stamped “Draft” and ending abruptly without closing or a signature of any kind, against me filed by Samantha.
You remember Samantha, right?
Samantha is one of the stars of my first blog series, “Anatomy of a Disaster.” In case you are new here, read the series and catch up.
ANATOMY OF A DISASTER
Details of the Bar Complaint
Samantha has accused me of the following:
- conspiring with Sarah to further her estrangement from her children
- being employed by Sarah’s lawyer
- trying to contact her
- saying mean things about a judge, lawyers, and “experts”
- attributing comments posted on the blog to her (I would like to state unequivocally I do not know the identity of commenters unless they use their real name and I may very well have been mistaken when I assumed some came from Samantha. My apologies)
- making false statements about her separation from her employer
- being appalling (which I think was a typo meant to read “appealing”) and disgusting
- inviting her to coffee, which frightened her and made her fear for her physical safety
- ridiculing, denigrating, mocking, and harassing her based upon her status as a transgendered person.
That last one really pissed me off. Samantha is one of those people who believes her status gives her the right to be an asshole, and if anyone points out she is kind of being an asshole, she accuses them of hating transgendered people.
It’s such bullshit. I make jokes about and have offended every group on the planet. I hope she never watches comedy of any kind because she may have a massive attack of the “sensitives” and will have to begin writing seven-page complaints to the talent.
I take umbrage at that last accusation even more than the most serious one of extortion, which is of course a biggie. In a public document, Samantha has falsely accused me of a crime. And yet I am the one harming her reputation, via pseudonyms?
Samantha constantly accuses me of “outing her” despite that I don’t use her name, then files a bar complaint with her own name in which she publicly puts forth many of the facts of her case she claims to want kept private.
Huh. Interesting approach. Logical fail, but interesting.
The complaint appears to have been ghost-written, which isn’t surprising. You may not believe it, but her lawyers don’t like me.
I believe I’ve been very even-handed. I have offered to let Samantha give her version of events and for some reason that both pissed her off and frightened her.
Because I find the bar complaint so intimidating, I have decided to cancel the series.
(Just kidding. If you don’t get the photo reference, see the movie “Airplane” post-haste.)
Yesterday I was angry about the complaint, because it’s going to be a time-suck. As much fun as writing Dotson v. DesCamp was, it took many hours that should have been spent on other matters. Today I am simply amused.
I could answer this complaint extremely succinctly, because the bar has asked me only to to address two rules as they relate to the accusations rather than each of the allegations.
Since Samantha is wrong and her own exhibits either prove she’s wrong or provide no evidence of ethical violations, this could be really easy.
I could write it in less than a page and spend less than an hour on it.
I could make it serious and professional and abandon all opportunities to exhibit my comedic talents and point out publicly why paying double the legal fees of your ex-spouse might hint at billing irregularities by your firm.
Anything is possible.
PS: While you will read my response here after it’s drafted, I will not be using Samantha’s real name. I refuse to give her that satisfaction.