I Don’t Want a Big Gay Wedding!

Hi Robin!

My partner and I are discussing getting married. I would like to have a City Hall wedding and save the tens of thousands we would spend, but my husband wants to have a traditional wedding. Even a modest wedding here in California would cost tens of thousands of dollars and require all of our friends to travel here to Palm Springs from the East Coast.

We recently purchased a home, and we are both entrepreneurs who are building our businesses. We are not wealthy by any means, and I can think of so many other uses for that wedding money.

I don’t want to insult my partner or hurt his feelings by suggesting that we forego a wedding, but I just think that there are better uses for the money, and living with less debt would add to our quality of life. How should I raise this issue without hurting my dear partner’s feelings?

I don’t want him to think that my reluctance to get sucked into an expensive wedding is a sign I don’t value our future union, because that is the furthest thing from the truth.


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Dad Won’t Come to My Big Gay Wedding

Dear Robin:

Hello from Palm Springs!  I found you on Bulldog’s show and can’t wait to hear you again so when will you be back on?

Here is my problem…my dad won’t come to my wedding because I’m gay and he said he doesn’t believe gays should be married.  He has actually been very supportive since I came out ten years ago so this shocked and surprised me and I am deeply hurt.  We have always had a great relationship and he is a great dad.

My mom and two brothers are also very upset Dad won’t attend.  My fiancé’s entire family will be there supporting him and I am dreading seeing an empty seat where my father should be.

Do you have any clever words that can convince him to come to my wedding?  I love my father and need him there.

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