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Stepdad Wants Parenting Time?

Dear Readers:

You should recall my blog about an unloving absentee stepdad leaving the marriage and then claiming a desire to spend time with his ex’s son, set forth here:

Hypocrite is Hypocritical 

This post will be updated next week. There have been crazy developments, some of which are almost unbelievable. Almost.

Have a great weekend!

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This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. ssirish

    Good luck!

  2. Luckywife

    Just curious, is Stepdad also interested in paying child support and helping out with post secondary expenses? If he now wants to claim he performed a parental role and he wants parenting time negotiated with the agreement then I think it only logical that he also absorb some of the other obligations that come with parenting. Mom and Dad could likely use the help considering Mom has to kickstart a new career and support a support her son in the here and now, putting them both a big financial disadvantage come University time.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      No, he wants mom and her son to leave the marriage with 10% of what they came in with, while he wants to leave with 300-400% of what he came into the marriage with, while his income dwarfs hers by a factor of 8-10 right now. Nice guy!

      1. Luckywife

        Not to make light of a terrible situation Robin, but this should make for a very interesting chapter in your book. Divorce by Design – Idealism Meet Realism: How to cope when your spouse wants to right all the wrongs in the marriage by grinding you into dust in the divorce.

        My nature is far to cynical to be shocked or surprised anymore by the way adults can behave towards the person they once claimed to love enough to share a life with. Cash, assets and children are always the weapons of choice when a spouse is no longer capable of patience, understanding and empathy.

        Mom may be asking herself now who the hell this stranger is that she has been sleeping with the past 10 years. Stepdad may be asking himself how low he can go before he’s had enough payback for all the pain and disillusionment. No matter where it ends there is one truism neither can hide from: While you can rid yourself of the partner you no longer want, you cannot hide from the one you have to see in the mirror for life. If you go the way of scorched earth in your dealings with others you can never clean the dirt off that mirror.

        Stepdad is on the wrong track with the kid. While I absolutely believe that it could be possible to have a relationship with Stepson separate and apart from Mom, a friendship cannot be forged by force. This is a teenager, not a small child, he’s not stupid and he doesn’t reside in a vacuum. He needs and deserves to be treated with respect. If a relationship is what Stepdad is really after with Stepson, repeatedly sticking the knife in his Mom is hardly the way to prove it. Stepdad might be to caught up in his anger at the moment to see past laying hurt on the Mom, but if there is any hope at all of earning this young man’s love and respect, then he’s going to have lay down his sword and settle this like a gentleman.

  3. loving Dad

    Where’s our update?? Don’t keep us in suspense, woman!

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Coming up in a couple days.

  4. Emily Post

    Emily Post, here. Young adult stepson not invited to rehearsal dinner? This is a breach of etiquette In the modern day, to be certain, but it is much more than that. It is reflective of the groom’s upbringing and capacity for kindness, especially in conjunction with the other information you provided. I find it hard to believe the husband didn’t stick up for his stepson, is apparently punishing his stepson’s mother through financial and legal maneuvers, but actually wants to see the young man. This smacks of negotiating through posturing, or some people around him are expressing shock at his terrible treatment of his “family,” who it seems were never really family at all to him. I hope mother and son are doing well and that mother is more careful with her choices in future partners.

    1. Robin DesCamp

      Husband has a very expensive lawyer and a good deal of money, yet when he filed he requested attorney fees and is compelling wife into litigation when she cannot retain an attorney. The young man in question is doing very well, although he doesn’t understand what is going on and mom really doesn’t want him to know. Still, sooner or later the kid may ask the question: why did you ignore me for a decade and only now want to spend time with me? Why did your youngest son, who makes money from MY dad, text me expressing interest in me after ignoring me for a decade? Why are you dragging my mom through litigation she can’t afford? Why don’t you just go away and start your new life with your new people as you were so anxious to do? And why are you now hanging out with friends of my mom’s you professed to intensely dislike? Weird, man.

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