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Why Do Men Suck?

Dear Readers:

Last week I received a letter that summarized perfectly a common marital problem: the wife feels she shoulders the entire burden for planning social or couple time.

However, I spent so much time responding to comments on Tuesday’s blog this morning that I don’t have enough left to answer the question presented to me. Instead, I’ll post the email exchange I had and I’ll get to the advice on Monday.

By the way, those comments I mentioned are really interesting.  I’d love to hear your opinion so please weigh in by clicking, reading, and commenting here:

Tuesday’s Work of Art

Behold: your window into how the advice blog sausage is made!  I communicate with my advice-seekers like this on almost every question, because I am a very special kind of blogger.

OK ladies, does this sound familiar?

Penny:

Why do men suck?

Robin:

Is that a rhetorical question?

Penny:

Huh?

Robin:

Could you be a little more specific?

Penny:

I love my husband.  I truly do.  What I don’t love is what feels like his complete lack of thoughtfulness when it comes to me.

Robin:

Could you be a little more specific?  Maybe he’s thoughtless because you lack specificity.

Penny:

Huh?  I don’t get it.

Robin:

Never mind.  Can you tell me how he isn’t thoughtful in some specific terms, otherwise known as “examples?”

Penny:

Every year I have to plan my own birthday.  Nothing is ever done for me for mother’s day.  We never do anything social that I have not planned.  He used to write me nice cards on special occasions but after three years of marriage he seems to have given up on that.  

Robin:

Let me guess: second marriage?

Penny:

How’d you know?

Robin:

I’ll ask the questions here, thank you very much.  Let me guess again: long-term unhappy marriage for him?

Penny:

Yes!  How’d you know?

Robin:

What did I tell you about asking questions?  Jesus, maybe he doesn’t write you cards because he worries you can’t contemplate the words contained therein.

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Penny:

Huh?

Robin:

Never mind.  Have you told him how you feel about this?

Penny:

Yes, more times than I can count.  He says he will do better but nothing ever changes.  Today was the final straw when I told him I was really wanting to go golfing but my playing partner wasn’t sure if they could make it. He told me “maybe I’ll see you out there because I’m golfing 9 holes this afternoon with Ted and Jim,” and when I said I didn’t want to golf alone so he wouldn’t see me if my partner can’t make it, he just said,”OK, then see you at home tonight!”

This is after he told me, by the way, that he didn’t want to make any plans tonight except staying home because he has plans every night next week.

Robin:

Wow.  He really does suck.

Penny:

I know, right?

Robin:

Unless you are presently 15 years old, please do not use that expression.  I assume you aren’t 15 because you are married to someone who was in a long-term marriage prior to meeting and ignoring you, but who knows – you could be from Kentucky.

Penny:

Huh?

Robin:

Never mind.  

So, darling readers, tune in next week for my advice to Penny, and don’t forget to read and comment upon Tuesday’s Explosion of Brilliance, which is enjoying a robust commentary that won’t be as wonderful without your contribution!

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This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. The Yetti

    Penny’s mental value is reflected in her name.

  2. TLM

    OK, so not all men suck. I have a good one 🙂 (and yes, second marriage). This guy sounds like a jerk, more than capable of making plans for himself, but doesn’t want to include his wife, and won’t plan anything for the two of them.

    On the other hand, she sounds a little whiny and passive. Maybe he’s just not that into doing things with her. Frankly, if you’ve said the same thing over and over, and it’s important, but nothing changes, dump him. Sorry, but sometimes it’s just not meant to be. At least from this small part of hearing about their marriage, I would say it’s not working.

  3. Isaac Laquedem

    Because we can?

Comments are closed.