Welcome to Friday Feedback, our weekly shedding of the blog’s lining to make room for next week’s brilliance and the potential conception of a radio program. Let’s start with the boring stuff first:
I was thrilled to read your blog about the thin woman who was bombarded with rude remarks about her weight. I have always been naturally thin and have tried for years to put on a few extra pounds. While I don’t have the illness your writer has, I can attest to how annoying these comments are. Thank you for covering this subject because most people don’t get it.
Dear Skinny Sally:
“I have always been naturally thin and have tried for years to put on a few extra pounds.”
Just kidding. Thank you for reading Sick of Comments About My Weight. I received several private messages about this post and it really hit home for many readers. Between judging each other for being fat, thin, and everything else, women really stick it to each other, don’t we?
Now go eat a cheeseburger and lift some weights, would you please?
Wow Robin, you are really on a roll with these last two posts. Both were very poignant and insightful. I hope you get to your platform on the radio soon so that more people can benefit from your advice.
Dear Funniest Screen Name Ever:
What made me especially proud of the first post is a tweet I received from the letter writer the next day that said she appreciated my advice about not chasing a wedding ring and was going to take it. If people aren’t obeying me, what’s the point?
I let myself down with the second blog about divorce because I neglected to mention the incredibly obvious way to keep your divorce costs down: hire a lawyer who does not want to approach litigation with a flame-thrower aimed at your spouse, and keep them in check when it comes to their billing. This is something I’ve written about before and cannot stress enough.
The nastiest divorce lawyer in this city churns files by encouraging animosity and fighting between the parties, then sits back and collects the massive fees that flow into her firm as a result. There is a .4 (24 minutes) minimum billing requirement, meaning if she (or any other lawyer in the firm) glances at a file for 30 seconds (something I’m told she does with every case in the office) she charges for 24 minutes of her time. At $450 per hour, that’s $180 bucks just to spill soup on your file as she snarfs her third lunch of the day.
As to your hopes and dreams for my radio show, things are happening and I look forward to sharing more information about that in the very near future. Let’s put it this way: I told myself when I started this thing that I could do anything if I set my mind to it.
As it turns out, I am soon to prove myself correct. Please email me at email@example.com to inquire about my motivational speaking fees. Act now before they get out of hand!
Finally, dear readers, the religious right came to visit us again. I’m not sure why these folks read the blog, but whatever.
Disgusting, classless, base, crass, horrifying, terrible. These are the words that spring to mind when reading your piece on abortion. The only thing you got right was when you said abortion is never funny, but then you included those incredibly offense cartoons or memes or whatever you call them.
This woman is going to have to answer not only to her husband, but to God. Her selfish and indefensible actions of several years ago are likely the reason she isn’t getting pregnant now, not because of guilt or stress but because she is being punished. Your response to her was flippant and inadequate. She needs to repent before she can be forgiven by God and her husband and be blessed with a baby.
You’re rather judge-y and your God sounds mean.
The letter-writer of Haunted by Abortion isn’t a religious woman so instructing her to seek penance would be about as helpful as telling you to embrace logic, reason and science. If God (assuming there is a God, which I highly doubt) intended every conception to result in the birth of a child, how do you explain miscarriages, or what you referred to as a sophomore in high school as your 8 or 9 “really heavy periods?”
I’d like to point out you read my blog incorrectly. I did not say abortion is never funny, I said it is rarely funny. There’s a big difference. For example: what do you call a cow who has had an abortion?
I think my work here is done, folks. Have a wonderful holiday weekend!