As you will recall, two years ago I was suddenly and quite unexpectedly dragged into a divorce case: my own!
I had taken time off from my practice to write a book on divorce titled, “Forget the Drama, Avoid the Trauma: Your Guide to a Peaceful Divorce.” The book was almost done when I was informed I had been upgraded, but much of it spoke glowingly about my second marriage in terms that were not, as it turned out, accurate. Given that the book had to be rewritten as a result of my, er, changing circumstances, that meant less time for my pithy advice blog which you all enjoy so much.
In addition, having made the incredibly asinine decision to be financially dependent upon another human being, I suddenly found myself without a dime of income, and needing to earn money as quickly as possible. Since I had no resources to hire a lawyer, I represented myself, and decided I may as well take on some paying clients too. Those groceries weren’t just going to buy themselves, and stripping was definitely out of the question. It’s not that I would not have considered dancing of the erotic variety, but upon applying for positions around town, I was strongly urged by proprietors to seek work in another field. Apparently I am not qualified for the work due to my age and appearance.
Knowing that even Archie the Drunken Chihuahua could do divorce work, I jumped into the field.
I picked up some good cases, and discovered that as bad as I thought DICKs (Divorce Industrial Complex Kingpins) were, I really knew very little until I was across the table from them. On several occasions after being in the same room with some of these people, I have taken showers that make Karen Silkwood’s look like a quick visit to a birdbath.
Along the way, dealing with the incredibly ridiculous circumstances of my own replacement/divorce, I came to discover that everything seeming so horribly difficult was, in fact, meant to be. As ugly as things got (which explains why I renamed the book “Forget the Drama, Avoid the Trauma: Your how-to and how not-to Guide to Divorce), and as worried as I was about how I would be able to keep my little family of one human and two canine kids afloat, it became obvious fairly quickly that the path I did not choose was the path I was meant to walk.
Last year I went to New York and I got myself a real book agent, who tells me I have written something very compelling and special that a publisher will surely pick up. Since a publisher has yet to arrive on the scene and throw money at me while begging to buy my work, I am cautiously optimistic. If I can’t find a publisher soon I will self-publish and the whole world can find out the nuts and bolts of a peaceful divorce, the hilarious and stupid things I did during my own, and the DICK tricks of the trade that drive up fees and tension for the sole purpose of enriching greedy lawyers.
Please join me as I resuscitate this blog. I will still do advice (so please send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org!), as well as ranting/commentary on various subjects, most especially the man baby President installed by Putin, and my body’s state of rebellion against me for the crime of aging.
Sharing is always very much appreciated, so help me as I get the word out that this blog ain’t dead yet!
PS: I am also hard at work on detailing the more wacky adventures I’ve had in the past two years in a book titled “I Realize I am the Common Denominator: Two Years of WFT After Divorce #2.” I look forward to sharing some excerpts soon!