DISCLAIMER AND WAIVER OF LIABILITY

Before you proceed with what is sure to be the finest reading of your life, let me get the legal mumbo jumbo out of the way. I am not a doctor or a licensed therapist and I am not providing medical information or guidance, so don’t even think about suing me for malpractice if your life turns to shit after following my advice. I can’t get insurance for this fledgling column, so if you are looking for deep pockets, you will have to buy some cargo pants.

Yes, I am a lawyer, but I am not YOUR lawyer. Any mention of the legal system and how I would approach your problem were I standing in your shoes (and they better be nice shoes, because I really like shoes) is not legal advice, it is simply advice. While I relish the idea of having a confidante/advisor relationship with anyone who seeks a pithy and irreverent take on his or her issue, I am not interested in an attorney-client relationship with anyone. Been there, done that. It’s not you; it’s me.

You, reader, hereby absolve me of any liability for your use of this column. If you do try to sue me, not only will I come after you in perpetuity for my legal fees and costs associated with my defense, I will also unfriend you on Facebook.