Welcome to Friday Feedback, our weekly subjection to ridicule and criticism by which we hope to learn, empathize and grow.
I received an unhappy email from a reader regarding one of last week’s blogs: My Husband Wants to Move Again
“I don’t know if it’s your generation or just you in particular, but it seems you are quick to suggest divorce to couples having problems. This woman can do her job from anywhere and your advice to consider leaving her husband because he has made a few moves in his career is unsound.
“Marriage is a sacrament and a commitment for life, and I’d like to see you focus more on helping couples solve their problems rather than just whimsically suggesting they split up. In this case, given the woman’s pregnancy, such advice was truly irresponsible and dangerous.
“Please reexamine your approach to these problems. Nobody wants to be married twice like you, and you will probably end up married three or four times given your attitude.”
Melissa in Michigan
I wonder if you read the same letter and blog I read and wrote. Given your good grammar and spelling, I’m going to assume you were not stuck for several hours in your mother’s birth canal with the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around your neck, and thus you are able to comprehend the English language and wipe your own bottom.
Please take a moment to go back and digest My Husband Wants to Move Again. I’ll wait right here…
There are much deeper issues here than a man working his way up the corporate ladder: issues of anger management, problem avoidance via geographic repositioning and a possible disregard for his wife’s feelings when it comes to bouncing around the country getting fired from various positions. I say “possible” because she hasn’t been clear with him yet on her feelings about these moves.
Speaking in general terms regarding marriage being a commitment for life:
I agree that is the goal everyone shares when they take their vows. Whether or not that means you should suffer through a very unhappy marriage until one of you wins life’s lottery with the grand Death Prize is quite another issue to which your husband has apparently acquiesced.
Speaking specifically about my record in the marriage department, I would have to disagree that “nobody” wants to be married twice.
Rather than just offer you blind assurances, I’d like to offer up Exhibits A and B: The Canary in a Coal Mine and Mr. Patience and Understanding, both of whom are quite blissfully settled in second marriages.
One I freed to find the woman of his dreams and the world’s best stepmom, the other I saved from a life of loneliness and despair and frankly, some questionable wardrobe decisions. I’m doing great work here, Melissa!
Finally, the only way I’ll ever be married again is if Mr. Patience and Understanding passes away before I do and I find myself bored enough to torment another man into an early grave. At that point, I intend to use your IP address to find out who your husband is and offer him a chance at happiness.
Thanks for your feedback!
I LOVED YOUR BLOG ABOUT FACEBOOK, OMG SO FUCKING TRUE!!!!! MY EX DOES THIS ALL THE TIME AND HE COMES OFF LIKE A TOTAL PSYCHO!!! GREAT BLOG!!!
-Your Biggest Fan in Seattle
Dear Seattle Fan:
I’m going to have to suggest that my brother is my biggest fan in Seattle, but thank you for being so ardent in your love.
May I offer a suggestion to you? Please stop with the all caps, it indicates you are yelling at me and while your enthusiasm is much appreciated, I am barely awake this morning and not ready to be yelled at.
Thank you for your feedback on Passive-aggressive Facebook Posts.
Many readers suggested I tell this gentleman to simply stop looking at his ex’s Facebook page, but the fact is other people were discussing the crazy posts and as I found out from him the day after I posted the blog, some of it is getting back to his kids and they are not happy. She needs to just knock that shit off and get over the divorce, because she is embarrassing herself and her kids.
That’s all we have time for today. Please continue to send me your questions and if you would like to be featured in the new Portland online newspaper that launches next month, be sure to specify that so I don’t blow your wad on www.askdescamp.com.
And finally, I’d like to leave you with this image. It’s just so cute and sweet!
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!