Friday Feedback: Why You Hate the Ladies?

Unknown-2

Welcome to Friday Feedback, our weekly peek into the unfettered opinions of our loyal fans and hate-readers.  This week was a real hoot, I tell ya!  I’m putting all my criticism eggs in one basket to address a lady who thinks I’m mean.

Robin:

You have an obvious bias against women in general and first wives in particular. What is your problem?  Your advice to the woman whose daughter was invited to Europe by her deadbeat dad and his new younger wife was terrible and I hope when she inevitably calls you and says her daughter was traumatized by spending 3 weeks with people she doesn’t know overseas you will post an update admitting you were wrong.

As a single mom myself, I have spent years working my fingers to the bone to raise my kids. I’m not about to let my ex be a “Disneyland Dad” and take them away from me for weeks on a whim with his new child bride.  Please re-think your approach when it comes to first wives and single moms because your prejudice is showing loud and clear.  I thought you considered yourself a feminist???

No Name, Nowhere

Dear NNN:

Thank you for reading I Don’t Want My Daughter to Go to Europe with Her Dad.  I’m sorry my advice to “Protective in Portland” did not sit well with you.  I’m also sorry you think I have a bias against women and first wives.  As a woman and as a first wife, I can assure you that is not the case.

images-4

I’m not sure how you reached the conclusion that I don’t care for single moms either. Many of my friends are single moms to children whose fathers have very little to no involvement in their kids’ lives.  I salute these women and quite frankly, I don’t know how they do it.

My assumption has to be either that you can’t read or that you are so mired in your own misery that your comprehension of the written word was severely compromised when you attempted to digest that blog entry with your morning cup of tea and your slice of Spiteful Bitter Bitch Coffeecake.  Please go back and try again.

I’d be happy to point out everything you got wrong but my time is limited this morning so you’re on your own.  Perhaps our readers could chime in by leaving comments for you?

Unknown-2

Finally, I feel sorry for your kids and I’m not surprised you are divorced and unable to find another partner.  Do you ever wonder if it might not be your ex-husband’s fault that your life is shit?

I appreciate your willingness to correspond with me and you told me he has always paid his child support in full and on time.  You also told me his second wife is 8 years younger than he is (but more significantly, 12 years younger than you – ouch!).  That’s not exactly a “child bride,” unless he is 22.

Your ex pays a significant amount of alimony in addition to child support and you work part-time about 10-15 hours a week.  Whew!  I don’t know how you do it, seeing as how both your kids are in school full-time!  If that’s what counts for working fingers to the bone in your world, you must have suffered an unfortunate de-gloving at some point.

As for your comment regarding whether or not I am a feminist, I don’t think you understand the movement I am starting.

images-4

I call myself a “post-modern feminist warrior,” which is a badass way of stating a proposition so simple that it may just blow your tiny mind.  Are you ready?

Robin’s Version of Feminism: Along with equal rights and opportunities come equal responsibilities, expectations and accountability.

Yes, I take women who demand long-term alimony to task.  I’m assuming your assertion I am biased against first wives is based on my support for alimony reform. You are only 46 years old – you have no excuse for not adjusting your outlook to meet your new reality and becoming self-sufficient.

I get hate mail from women like you all the time and although I relish the opportunity to further publicize the horrendous bias men face in our family law courts, it’s getting a little old.

images-11

Women are now occupying more than 50% of law school and medical school classrooms.  We have advantages our mothers and grandmothers could never have imagined.  If a woman wants to participate in a “traditional” marriage in which she does not work outside the home, I have no problem with that.

What I DO have a problem with is long-term and permanent alimony.  Choices have consequences and I always find myself wondering why in this day and age we are still treating women like children – helpless and floundering unless a man is in charge. Why would you choose that life for yourself and model that behavior for your kids?

images-4

A final few words: at some point your kids will wake up to the fact that you’ve been playing the Helpless Scorned Victim role and demonizing their father simply because the marriage was a failure and he found a younger, prettier kitty to pet.  I suggest you be prepared to explain yourself.

-Robin

p.s. “I hope when she inevitably calls you and says her daughter was traumatized by spending 3 weeks with people she doesn’t know overseas you will post an update admitting you were wrong.”

Thanks for the suggestion, but I’m never wrong, and even when I am, which I’m not, I’d never admit it.  Because I’m never wrong.  Just ask Mr. Patience and Understanding; he’ll tell you.

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Lee Kallett

    Once again, Robin Descamp nails it. Her advice and replies are spot on. Thank you for always being real and just.

  2. David Bergman

    This is a true masterpiece and tells it like it is.

  3. Seagypsy

    Note to self, do not read while drinking cold peach iced tea. That $hit burns when you snort it out your nose while laughing. Yet again, fabulous advice from Robin.

  4. winedrinker

    Sometimes I want to shake a bitch. Thankfully, I have Robin to do that for me. Great advice, AGAIN!

  5. Tina Granstrom

    Whoot whoot! She nails it again!!

  6. Tamsen

    Yes, once again, great advice, whether NNN wanted to hear it or not. And since Robin invited it, NNN, the piece Robin wrote about the Mom who didn’t want her daughter to spend 3 weeks on vacation in Italy with her Dad was also spot on. If you read the blog piece more carefully you will note that frankly, the Dad made the mistake of screwing around on his wife….hardly the first time, but still, not a good thing. The wife got him back by taking his daughter away from him and having him foot the bill, to the tune of $100,000 in attorneys’ fees because she couldn’t afford the attorneys’ fees she spent taking his daughter away from him. And why did she move? Because she was screwing around with a married man across the country! Now if that ain’t the pot calling the kettle black. Despite all of that, he made an effort to keep a relationship going with his daughter from across the country and paid more than the required amount of child support every month. The fact that the Mom doesn’t know the “new” wife is her problem. He’s been married to her for 5 years. I think your problem with the blog is that you see yourself in it. I also agree that working 10-15 hours per week while raising two kids who are in school full time, while getting alimony and child support, is hardly “working your fingers to the bone”. Being a divorced Mom myself, I actually DO know what it’s like to work FULL TIME and raise a kid, with no child support and no alimony (I paid him alimony, thank you very much.) So get over your self-pity party and get a real job.

Comments are closed.